Thursday, April 12, 2007

India's appraisal forms requiring menstrual info

India re-assesses menstrual forms
All India Services (Performance Appraisal Report) Rules, 2007
The form asks for a "detailed menstrual history"

The Indian government says it will review new appraisal forms requiring female civil servants to reveal details of their menstrual cycles.

The ministry of personnel says it has written to the health ministry following complaints from staff that the form was grossly insensitive.

The questions are said to have been inserted on health ministry advice.

Annual appraisals and health checks are mandatory in India's civil service, one of the country's largest employers.

Let's just say that our Gahmen requires this too, but to be fair, the MEN would now need to make similar disclosures. Buaya69, the evil consultant has this to suggest:


Please give a detailed history of each of your wanking experiences for the last 6 months with the following information:

1) Date and time of each wanking session (Please highlight in BOLD if it's during official working hours)

2) Venue of each wanking session (Please highlight in BOLD if it's in the government premises)

3) Time taken to wank till orgasm in seconds. (State in bold UNSUCCESSFUL and reasonable reasons if unable to reach orgasm)

4) Please list down the name(s) of the person(s) imagined/fantasized for the wanking session by gender, age, and relationship (Please highlight in BOLD if a superior officer). If the imaginary/fantasy was not a human being, please describe the animals or creatures.

5) Briefly describe the key imaginary scene(s) of your wanking session. (Please indicate the sexual styles used with reference to the Kamasutra text)

6) Any other information

You are advised that the information provided will be fed into our super sophisticated modelling program to assess the health and productivity of the appraisee. Examples of possible results are (not exhaustive):

a) Healthy Raging Bull - possibility of 6 months bonus with imminent transfer to locations with low birth rate. However, relocation cost for spouse and family is not included.

b) Sadistic - potential candidate for exchange programme to US Guantanamo Bay Detainment Camp, Cuba. Eligible for outstation allowance but not hardship allowance as appraisee is expected to enjoy the exchange programme's itinerary.

c) Texas Chainsaw Massacre - modelling indicates that appraisee's profile is suitable for promotion. 12 months bonus is recommended.

On completion of the form, you are required to thumb print and provide a Statutory Declaration in accordance with the Statutory Declaration Act 1960 in front of a Commissioner for Oaths, of which the cost is payable by yourself.


There, now wouldn't that be fairer?

Buaya69 says... "Shit, my appraisal's just around the corner!"

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