Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Valentine's Day Tip#1

I used to dread Valentine's Day. It is such a commercially driven shitty day. Your emotions go haywire whether you are single or in a relationship.

When you are single and available, you mull and mope all over your bedroom in your self depreciating "Why why why! Nobody loves me, sob sob sob" mode. And then you will naturally think about that lost love(s), what could have been and then you kill yourself ever so slowly and painfully by listening to Rick Price's "Heaven Knows". Yes, that's definitely a cruel way of killing yourself ;)

But Valentine's Day is not for the faint hearted. As they say, there are no prizes for those who come in second. For guys still in the hunting game, there's no way out. You must SPEND SPEND SPEND.

Buaya VDay tip # 1: FLOWERS


Buying flowers during VDay at ridiculously stratospheric prices is insane. For example, the above bouquet will set you back RM198.00!!!

Your logical thinking girl will remind you how "awww, you shouldn't have" and say things like "but flowers die within a few days" or "that money can buy better stuff" and so forth. Still, a Buaya will spend that moolah and get those flowers delivered. Why?

Coz you need to mark your territory!

Flowers are a good way to mark out your "territory" to other Buayas. You are telling them in no uncertain terms that "This is MINE! Stay OUT!". You are just like an El Conquistador planting your Spanish flag on foreign soil, only that a Buaya is doing it with flowers, hehehe.

Not only that, you can intimidate other Buayas when you can afford (or stupid enough) to buy a huge huge huge bouquet of flowers. It's almost like thumbing the nose to the other Buayas and saying "My dick is longer and bigger than yours!", heh!

Apart from that, your girl thinks that you have the hots for her, care, love and yada yada yada. (Actually, you will boost HER EGO to her lady friends, but I will save that for another post).

And if you really really have the balls to kacau another Buaya's girl or just want to get a certain girl's attention, flowers do make a HUGE statement. But never do that "Anonymous Sender" thingy. Girls hate that.

So, as a VDay Buaya weapon, flowers are great as an offensive and defensive tactic. Use with care though ;)

To be continued with Tip #2: Money not required.

Buaya69 says... "I hope yous Buayas have planned for VDay, good luck!"


zorro said...

Buaya69...pang-yeow, I have small job for you to do....enter zorro-unmasked. Do favor for friend ok?

Buaya69 said...

zorro: done!

Papi said...

alamak, tomorrow valentine aldy wor, where tip#2??