The Kinokuniya Fart

I have been quite stressed out at the cubicle for the last few months. Psychologists say that a right amount of stress is good for productivity. I say no stress is the best!

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Today being a Friday and since I wore my devil-may-care facemask, I took a longer lunch hour and went to KLCC. Had lunch at Madam Kwan’s and then hop into Kinokuniya bookstore. As I was browsing through the music section, my tummy began churning. Oh no! Don’t tell me I am gonna shit in KLCC. Fortunately, the churning stopped pretty soon.

So there I was, like a small boy, browsing through the music books when I saw an interesting title at the lowest rack. I then initiated the “famous police squat” stance and began reading the book.

BIG MISTAKE!

Maybe it was the squat. Suddenly my tummy began to churn like mad. I could feel something pop’d in my tummy and then it moved all along my intestines. Within 3 minutes, I let out a loooonnng and silent fart. My own fart drifted up to my nostrils and OMG! It was the most horrible fart that I have ever whiffed! It was like the smell of rotten eggs and cheese and putrid milk all combined

That smell jolted me and I was damn shy. I slowly raised up my head and looked around. My Lord! Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE near me, were continuing their reading and browsing through as though they have not smelled that OMG SUPER BAD FART.

Yup, I was saved from embarassment by polite Malaysians. But maybe, just maybe, everyone was pretending not to notice so that they would not be fingered as the culprit?

Thank goodness for silent farts aka the Kinokuniya Fart. Maybe I should try that in an elevator…