Buaya69 says...

Coffee bean @ kumho asiana, Saigon

2011-09-10T19:00:00.000+07:00

I'm glad that Coffee Bean took over Highland Coffee's space at Kumho Asiana. It's just s stroll away from my office along Le Duan Boulevard.

Why do I like Coffee Bean? Well, back in 2005-2008, my banking colleagues and I used to stroll over to CB on Jalan P.Ramlee in Kuala Lumpur. It's where we bitched and moaned and lamented - basically just to let off some work steam, and then it's was back to the 9am-8pm grind. The favourite food among us was the Brek-o-day comprising of eggs, bacon and toasted bread.

Today, my favourite meal at CB in Saigon is the Spiced Chicken with baked potato. A wholesome meal by itself just a tad below 100,000VND or USD5.

The best part is I get Free Wifi here - something that we don't get in KL. Actually, most places in Saigon have free wifi! Something for the Malaysian government to think about.

But in true Buaya form, the best best best part of sitting in CB @ Kumho Asiana is that it's located in an office block with many top notch tenants. This is the place to watch hotbabes walk past, especially the Koreans and ANZ bank gals... Ahem!

Buaya69 says, "There will be more hotbabes and good food when the Kumho foodcourt opens, so mouthwatering, muahahahahar!"

Where was I on Sept. 11, 2001?

2011-09-10T18:21:00.001+07:00

Tomorrow is the 10th anniversary of the 9/11 tragedy. I didn't even know of it until I arrived at the office the next morning. The mood was generally of shock, unbelievable, sadness... There wasn't any mood to work even though we were at the other side of the planet, here in tiny Kuala Lumpur.

Well, there was a moment that morning after, a few of us wanted to beat up a guy for being truly insensitive and spouting nonsense on the tragedy in the office; but we didn't because we felt that things will sort out itself as none of us respected him anyway. (A few years later when he resigned, there was a general sigh of relief all over. Now that I am in a position to hire people, I vow never to recruit a non-team player no matter how technically good he is.)

I dedicate this simple poem to the survivors of 9/11, because living is harder but life is a gift - let's use our time wisely.

The clouds of dust have settled but not my heart
Instead, storms of distrust opens outward
How then this changed my soul.
But live we must and ask not where was God
Instead, focus on the now for the future will follow
How the past controls is really up to me
I thus choose life and may it be fruitful, amen.

Buaya69 says, "Tomorrow I fly, may the stewardess' please my eyes. Muahahahar!"

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Underwear discrimination

2011-08-14T15:22:00.000+07:00

I live in an apartment and can see across into my neighbours living and 2nd bedroom in the other block. Likewise, they could see into all my rooms, from the living, master and 2nd bedroom.

Since I have been here for 1.5 years, I have seen many men dressed down only in their boxer shorts walking around in their homes.

Question - why is it permissible for men to show off their bouncy tummy and dark nipples, walking around in boxer shorts, but women have to dressed up?

This is discrimination! They should be allowed to walk around in their lingerie...

Now, where's my camera?

Buaya69 is so stressed from work that he's thinking pure nonsense now...

Sexy transformer curves... I want 11111!

2010-12-29T17:52:00.000+07:00

Chevrolet Camaro @ Saigon

Not yellow but still nice. Waited for it to transform but my Toyota Innova taxi beckons. Em oi, taxiiiii!!!!

Monsoon's here

2010-08-01T14:11:00.000+07:00

Was thinking of going out for a quick Sunday lunch and suddenly, the room darkened...

Wooo, those are angry clouds. And then the heavens opened in less than 5 minutes...

Right.... looks like I'm going to make A1 Bah Kut Teh noodles which I bought from Parkson's Citimart on Le Thanh Ton Street, woohoo!

Source:

http://malaysiaparade.blogspot.com/2008/09/a1-bak-kut-teh-instant-noodles-malaysia.html
And since it's such a nice weather, 28 Celcius, might as well take out that Stella from the fridge.

Buaya69 says, "Bah Kut Teh + Stella Artois, bbuuurrrppp!"

Burn out...

2010-08-01T13:44:00.000+07:00

Today marks my 5th month in Vietnam. Whoever said that Saigon is a "walk-in-the-park" and a "holiday" posting deserves to go into the Vietnamese grill hot pot (sizzle sizzle, boil boil).

Source:

http://vietnamesegod.blogspot.com/2006/03/nua-giang-restaurant.htmlWarning: visiting the above linked blog will make you salivate...

It has been an interesting and adjusting five months for me and my family, since I'm here and Mrs B and the girls are still in KL. It has not been easy for us but I'm happy to say that things are much better now.

In May, I experienced a burnt-out like I have never experienced before. For 2 weeks, my mind and body just collapsed. It took me hours just to type a simple email reply and I was feeling exhausted all the time. To make it worse, I did extra entertaining during this period which resulted in a stomach upsets and above limit alcohol consumption. Stupid, right?

But on hindsight, I guess I had to go through a burnt out. At the end of it, I re-focused on my purpose and vision for the business and my family. I needed that "something greater than myself" and it pulled me out of a spiral.

The experience also told me that I'm not a superman. I must build up a dedicated team here if this business is to make a respectable reputation and impact in Vietnam. Hopefully, I can have a successor in 3 years time. As MJ said, "This is it!"

Buaya69 says,"Make a difference! yeehah!"

Learning Vietnamese, Buaya style

2010-06-18T22:54:00.000+07:00

I really admire my non-Vietnamese colleagues who have been here for more than a year. They can converse fairly in Vietnamese but using the Southern dialect.

About 2 months ago, I registered for formal lessons in Vietnamese. Learning the 6 different tones was difficult, even for an Asian like me. And I have to constantly remind myself that an "e" is not pronounced as our normal "e". It's either "ay" or "air"... and many more unique sounds and tones.

However, as a true blue Buaya, here are a few words for my Buaya kawans who are planning to visit me in Saigon. Please learn this by heart, enuf said... :P

Note: the following are not written in vietnamese but in "western" sounds that I can think of...

1) hello = sin chao
2) My name is [name] = Toi ten la yi [name]
3) What is your name = Em ten la yi...
4) I am from [country] = Toi den toor [country]
5) I'm very happy to meet you = Ret voo-i durg gap
6) I would love to have some company... = toi ret voo-i durg di ker-ng..
7) Why are you laughing? = vi sao em kur-oi? (and give a biiigggg smile)
8) Is my Vietnamese that bad? = tieng vit koo-ah toi te teh err?
9) You are very beautiful = Em dep lam
10) I like you = Toi thic em
11) Would you like to come back with me? = em kor moo-urn kway tr-er lai vur-oi toi khom?

The rest, I leave it to you guys....

Oh, when the girls reply to you "Come Urn", it means "Thank you" and not Cum On...

Buaya69 says,"Hen gap lai = see you again!"
Buaya69 also says,"No, I don't have her number!!!"

HP Mini 110 by Studio Tord Boontje series

2010-05-26T11:37:00.000+07:00

Suzanne: Daddy, can help me with my homework? I am very bad in class already... (sob sob sob)

B69: Oh dear, what homework is this?

Suzanne: Computer! Teacher asked us to do research on internet. Have to use google...

B69: Ooops! I see, I see... OK, let daddy think of how to help you, ok?

Suzanne: OK.... thanks daddy...

The truth is this. WE DON'T HAVE A CONNECTED PC AT HOME!!! Yes, there is a home wifi but I use my office notebook to connect to the wifi, not a home PC.

Suzanne is already 10yo. Gosh, how time flies. I guess it is the right time to allow her access into the big, beautiful, bad and ugly world of internet. Her school is already asking for internet research and multimedia projects. I can still remember that at that age, we were only asked to go to the library and pick up a book or create a model made up of glued toothpicks... ah, those were the days... (of glue sniffing, heh!)

I only had 3 nights in KL and I posted the "issue" on my Facebook. The response from friends was enlightening but I finally decided on a HP Mini - good for internet and small enough for Mrs B to carry to Saigon.

On my last night in KL, I went out and bought the HP Mini 110 by Studio Tord Boontje series for RM1349 from the Notebook Zone, located at the Ground Floor of Digital Mall, PJ. After that, I went to pick up Mrs B from her function...

B69: Look dear, see what I bought?

Mrs B: Wow! So small! Nice!

B69: It's for you and Suzanne, but you need to guide her on the do's and don'ts on the internet like not to give out details to strangers, no on-line chatting with peeps she doesn't know... those kind of stuff.

Back at home, Suzanne was very happy but she contained her joy and glee pretty well. She's not like her younger 6yo sister SueAnne who would burst into a Bollywood song and dance, hah!

Oh gosh, I'm missing my family from here in Saigon.... :(

Buaya69 says, "The girls are growing up too quickly..."

Phu Quoc Island

2010-05-25T18:21:00.001+07:00

This photo was taken with my Blackberry while working from the beer hut on the beach at Saigon Phu Quoc Resort. Notice that the sea is just a few feet away and that the width of the beach is only about 12 - 16 feet...

The beach looks nice from this photo but that's because there's a protective net further out that protected the beach from debris. Let me tell you this. My colleagues and I walked further up from this photo and we saw a huge dead rat, lots of dead chicks, plastic bags, durian shells, plastic water bottles, dead (small) fishes... lots of them. Only a few dared swim in the sea as we would see plastic bags floating by and other "stuff". Finally, we frollicked in the resort's inviting pool rather than the sea. What a waste!

But apart from that, Phu Quoc has its charms. What I loved best of Phu Quoc was again the beach, but at night. Sitting on a beach chair, just looking out at the horizon lighted by the lights of the numerous fishing boats, and the wind... yes... the cooling breeze brushing against my face and hair... bliss!

Phu Quoc is not really a place to "do many things" like what most Asian tourists would do. It really is just a place to chill out, relax, have a cool drink in your hand, sitting under the coconut tree, letting the sea breeze hit your face kind of thingy. Oh, don't worry about coconuts falling on your head ala Isaac Newton. The resort's staff frequently ensured that the trees are "de-nut" frequently, heh!

So, would I go back to Phu Quoc Island? It's just a short 60 minutes flight from Saigon on a Fokker 50. I think I will conclude on that question after I have visited the other beaches of Vietnam, namely Danang, Hoi An, Nha Trang, Mui Ne...

And I would probably start a new beach rating system - like how many PAPAYAs plucked with 5 Papayas denoting Victoria Secret/Swimsuit Illustrated quality, muahahahahahahar!

Buaya69 says, "On the beach, forget about swimsuits - go bikini!" :P :P :P

Fear factor food - vit lon aka balut

2010-04-22T20:15:00.000+07:00

John: Bro, how's your tummy? Have you gotten all the necessary bacteria for Saigon food?

B69: Should have. If not, the last few cirit-birit were all for nothing!

John: Cool! Then let's go eat REAL Vietnamese food.

B69: What do you mean real? I have been eating them mah.

John: Nope... you gotta eat by the road, hehehehe

B69: Oh shit!

John: Yup, that's the word. Btw, don't mind when you smell old urine smell. The place I'm taking you to is in a backlane, sooo...

B69: Double shit!

John: Hey, TIV man! (This Is Vietnam) You gotta go with the flow! Muahahahahar!

And the food was GOOOODDDD! The numero uno food experience of that evening was Duck Balut. Yup, it's those half-formed embryo in the egg. I was in the Philippines back in 1992 and was cringing away from Balut. Well, not this time...

And yeah, it was way tastier than I could ever imagined, especially with some salt, chilli paste and lime... yummy! Now that I have been "educated", below are the steps that I was told on how to eat Balut:

1) The egg is HOT. Never hold it up. It has been cooked in heated sand.
2) Break the top and remove the egg shell. Make sure none of the egg shells fall into the Balut.
3) Mix the chilli paste with lime. Scoop a little of the chilli paste and then a little of the salt into the Balut - up to taste.
4) Dig in and eat! Yum yum!

And for the faint-hearted who can't stand looking an semi-formed birds, I was told to mashed the Balut with a spoon so that you can't recognise the bird.

So, what does it taste like? Depends on which part you are eating.
If it's the egg yolk, it tastes like a hard-boiled egg yolk except harder and has veins...
If it's the body, the texture is like a chicken boiled in soup i.e. soft and tastes like, well... duck meat.

And eating Balut must always be accompanied by BEER - cold beer, nothing less. It somehow makes the Balut tastes better... or was that just my excuse for beer? Hmmm....

Buaya69 says,"Balut yes, dog meat - NO!"

The Buaya Lair

2010-04-17T15:06:00.000+07:00

It's been a month and a half since I landed in Saigon. (From now on, I'm referring to Ho Chi Minh City as Saigon, just like the locals). There's a drought going on right now with temperatures of 33 degrees celcius. Thankfully, Saigon is not as humid as Kuala Lumpur and much more windier.

About 2 weeks into my stay in Saigon, I found a pad that I liked. It's a 2 bedroom apartment, "fully" furnished, and cost me a "bargain" rental of USD1,000/month (Gulp!). It's not in an expat area like the kind that we find in Mont Kiara or Damansara Heights back in KL. This is a very local area, something like Sentul, and then you will find my apartment complex standing like a sore thumb just like YTL's Sentul West, hah!

My apartment is 30 minutes to the office but the distance is only about 3 km! Located in a non-expat area, most of the people here do not speak English. Just the place for me. Time to practice my Vietnamese, heh!

Taxis are a plenty here in Saigon and costs me around VND60,000 (USD3.15) for a one way trip. My preference is for Vinasun and Mai Linh taxis as I have been issued taxi cards for them. It looks like a credit card and the driver will make an imprint of the card's embossed letters on the ticket and write down the fare. Very convenient. And for KL night owls, beat this, there are no midnight taxi surcharges here. It's the same rate 24/7!

Of course, just like KL, there are certain taxis to avoid. Hop over to Vietnam Travel http://www.vietnamtravel.org/taxis-saigon-avoid-being-taken-ride for a good write-up on this.

Over the past few weekends, I have been on procurement trips to equip the Buaya Lair with essentials such as kettle, ironing board, vacuum cleaner, microwave oven, pots, plates and etc etc and the all important DVD player. It's a hassle when I don't have a car, but guess what. Saigon home delivers! That's a fact of Saigon retail business as most customers do not have cars. Motorbikes rulez here. Don't be surprised to see a king-sized spring mattress being delivered by a cyclo-type cargo carrier.

Source: http://www.lucs.lu.se/Jan.Moren/Log/full_12Cyclo1024.jpg

Ok Ok, that's not my photo but you get the drift. Speaking of which, starting from today, I'm gonna take photos with my trusty compact Leica D-Lux 3. Apart from sceneries, I hope to capture some hotbabes too, muahahahahahar!

Buaya69 asks, "a PS3, XBox 360 or Wii? Decisions decisions..."

D minus 1: Almost ready...

2010-02-28T01:07:00.000+07:00

The bags are almost packed. Now I just need to substantially finish my last job in KL and also to clear my desk. Bummer - still must work on my "last day" in KL... But we are never ever really ready for anything, right?

The biggest bummer is still my tax clearance - belum siap lagi, arrgghhh! As a result, this Buaya's last paycheck has been withheld. Dry Dry Dry! :(

On Thursday night, the office had a small "farewell" for me in Bangsar. No one got royally drunk as everyone was on good behaviour mode, including muah. I guess we were all saving that for April when 3 secondees will be flying off to another country. I will definitely fly back for that drink-up/farewell with either a single-malt or Cordon Bleu in hand, hic!

To all you guys and gals who have enriched my life experience - Thank You!

Buaya69 says,"Happy Chap Goh Meh!"

Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/

Countdown - D minus 7

2010-02-21T21:26:00.005+07:00

D minus 7, i.e. 7 days left. Soon, this Buaya will be reporting to work in Vietnam.

I'm a "bit" late in this "Malaysian working abroad" thingy when compared to my high school buddies. With me gone, there will only be 3 left in Malaysia... OMG, 3!!! The rest are already working in Singapore, China, Dubai and USA. I seriously doubt that they will be coming back to work in Malaysia.

The great Malaysian brain drain - it's real!

But I'm not exactly a brain drain. I see myself more like a brain- export, heh! I will still be working with the same organisation, just in another country.

=======================================

Suzanne: Daddy, why must you go to work in Vietnam?

Me: Because the firm transfer me there mah.

Suzanne: No... why must you go to Vietnam to work?

Me: errr.... good question.... errr, so that you can go to an international school? so that you can experience life in another country? so that daddy can get his promotion? so that mommy don't have to work? so that you and your sisters will be global students? ... the world is your oyster dear...

Suzanne: But I like my school. I like my school friends....

Me: Sayang, I know that it is not easy to leave familiar things and faces behind. It's never easy to do something new and big and so unknown. But, life is one big great adventure. Life rewards those that see the good things and possibilities in all situations, good and bad. Experience the moment, cherish it and yet not be bound by that experience. Life rewards those who are brave to move on...

Suzanne: Oh daddy... how long will we be there?

Me: Many many years sayang.... You will finish your Standard 4 here. Daddy will find for you and your sister Sue Anne a nice school in Vietnam to study next year.

=======================================

At the ripe "old age" of 40, this Buaya is again embarking on something new, only this time, the family is coming along. Mrs B and I are excited about this posting. It has been in the works since early 2008 and we have talked about how it is going to impact our marriage, parents, kids... all in great lengths.

Mrs B has been a great supporter of this family adventure that I'm taking them along. Come to think of it, the Year of the Tiger has seen significant changes in both our life. To begin with, we were married in the Year of the Tiger 1998. The marriage institution has always been a great life-changer! Now, in this Tiger 2010, a new chapter will be unfolding soon...

The mission is simple - Take the lead... and get sustainable results!

Buaya69 says to Mrs B, "Dear, no need to bring too many kids clothes. check out Saigon Square here" :P

Thomas Chan - bespoke shoes

2009-11-22T22:21:00.007+07:00

Call me crazy but this afternoon, I just plonked RM1,000 for a bespoke/made-to-measure (MTM) leather shoe from Thomas Chan at Bangsar Shopping Complex (BSC). Honestly, the ready-to-wear (RTW) was only RM400 but as I went for MTM, the price went up by another RM300. And then, what is Thomas Chan without the orthodonthic sole? Add another RM300 to that.

Source: http://www.mens-fashion-tips.com/wingtip-dress-shoes-review.html
The picture is a Florsheim - Kenmoor - Long Wing (Heritage Calf Black)

Oh, I went for a classic black wing-tip 5-eyelet blucher. Yup, super traditional but that's what the army officers are made to wear with the No.4 uniform. I have not worn this design for more than 15 years!

As we were walking out of BSC...

Mrs B: so... someone was very happy with his RM1,000 purchase lar?

Me: Errr... well, my heel, you know... err, has been in pain... acting up, you know... ageing lar... old wounds from army days lar... you know...

Mrs B: sure sure. Next time, any purchases MORE than RM1,000... remember our deal? Joint agreement, ok? *wink wink*

Me: Yes maam!

Truly, Mrs B let me off easily, because about 2 months ago, I plonked RM2,000 on 5 shirts from Lords Tailor at BSC again...

Now, why all this spending on bespoke shoes and dress shirts? That's because on one fine evening, I got a personal "dressing down" from my Chairman... all about my dressing. I take great pride in my attire but it didn't pass my Chairman's muster.

Buaya69 asked the Lord's Tailor,"Could you make my tummy disappear?"

Overdue updates and "Alone in Bangkok"

2009-04-26T11:03:00.004+07:00

Wahlaueh, I have not been a responsible blogger. Neglecting this and the family blogs. Ooo, whip me baby, WHIP ME! :P :P :P

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
New "old" job
Since end last year 2008, I have been back to the consulting line, to my first job in actual fact. One of the partners told me straight in the eye "Buaya, you are a sucker for pain, aren't you?". Yup, I'm now back to the stress of tight deadlines of proposals and deliverables, late nights, pizza dinners, etc etc. But this time, I do make it a point to walk off by 8pm, if I can help it lar.

One of my closest buddies asked me "Why why WHHHYYYY???". Well, I think consulting is in my blood. I thrive on pressure, gets excited with new projects, brainstorming (more like squeezes) and especially the thrill of proposal wins. Ok, that was my formal answer...

Ol'friend : (Lifted his glass of vodka and looked at me) "Ya, right... It's the young girls right? Liar!"

With friends like him, who needs enemies? :D

Baby Buayatte No.3!
The Buaya family is blessed with Baby Shushanna, born 15 Feb 2009. More on her at the family blog.

Alone in Bangkok
Buaya69 is now in Bangkok, my first trip to the City of Angels. It was a rushed trip, all decided within a 2-3 days by the higher ups. I'm staying at a serviced residence about 15 minutes walk to my Bangkok office, 20 minutes to Suanlum night market and 15 minutes to the (in)famous Patpong area...

Alas, I have been so busy that the only Bangkok I have largely seen is the view when walking to and back from the office. But I did go out for dinner last night. The hotel told me that it was safe as long as I don't go anywhere near the red shirts gathering at Sanam Luang, so I made a dinner trip to Suanlum night market. Man, the street food's cheap and good there. I had briyani-like chicken rice for THB30, fruit juice for THB20 and coconut meat with ice-cream for RM25. Bought myself 2 neckties for THB300 and THB99 but on closer look back at the hotel, the quality sucks bigtime but you get what you pay for, oh well...

Sorry, no photos. Didn't bring out my camera last night.

How about Thai traditional massage? Yet to try that here in Bangkok. Met one of the Indonesians staying at the hotel and she suggested two clean establishments walking distance away.

OK, that's all for now. Need to get back to work (on a Sunday!!!).

Buaya69 asks, "I wonder how the hotel pool is like.... must take the opportunity to exercise... or should I pig out at Suanlum again for dinner?"

My reputation precedes me

2009-01-26T21:31:00.004+07:00

Girl manager: Boss, you free now ar?

B69: You tanya me like that, what automatic response from me are you expecting?

Girl mgr: Aiyah, no lar. I thot if you are free for the next 30 minutes, you can sit in this interview. We are, right now, interviewing this graduate for XYZ position. With your experience, you can give us a 2nd opinion whether she's a good fit.

B69: XYZ grade? I think you guys can handle that, right? You don't need me for that...

Girl mgr: Yah, true but for this candidate, I'm sure you are interested one. She's ex-Miss Malaysia finalist and a graduate. We are not sure whether this is really want she wants. Maybe you can interview cum counsel her like what you did to the others.

B69: The others were for manager levels lar.

Girl mgr: Yes, but she's ex-Miss Malaysia finalist... (Wink wink)...

B69: You are tempting me, aren't you? Bad girl bad girl...

Girl mgr: You buaya sifu mar, hehehe

B69: -_-"""

Buaya69 says,"We need some staff photos to spruce up this brochure..." :P

26/11 was my birthday and kaboom!

2008-12-14T03:05:00.003+07:00

I am blogging from New Delhi, India.

I shall forever remember 26/11/2008. It was my 39th birthday, the day the Mumbai terror attacks began. I cried.

I have now been in New Delhi, India for 9 nights. I have gotten used to walking through metal detectors, car searches, security checks and even road blocks. These did not only occur at the hotel I'm staying in, but also at the office building and even some restaurants. Sigh.... sign of the times.

Every morning, I read the Hindustan Times, and there will be articles and articles related to the Mumbai terror attacks. The one that made me cry is about the bravery of Taj's staff. They served with their lives, shielding the guests from the bullets, hiding them to the very end. Read Michael Pollacks personal account at the Taj. Feel what he felt.

And then it hit me. Would I have stood in between and taken the bullet like what Rajan Kamble did? Would I have been able to focus on saving my guests when I know that my family is trapped in the hotel? (the family of the Taj's GM died in the fire. They were trapped at the penthouse).

Source

What would I have done? What would you have done? I don't know. But this I know. They MADE A DIFFERENCE and I salute them all.

"What is the use of living, if it be not to strive for noble causes and to make this world a better place for those who will live in it after we are gone?" - Sir Winston leonard Spencer Churchill (1874-1965)

Buaya69 cries with India...

Idiots!

2008-09-14T20:26:00.005+07:00

I seriously think there's a shortage of talent in this country at where it matters the most. Sigh....

Have a nice day!

2008-09-09T23:52:00.006+07:00

I love going to this particular office because the receptionist there is dang cun. Sweet, nice face with "handful" of boobs, heh! *cough cough*

Early this morning, I had an appointment at the building and needed to get the security pass from her. As I handed over my ID...

Hotbabe: Good morning Mr Buaya.

Me: Good morning.....

And I leant over the counter, looking down at her sitting there taking down my particulars, and I couldn't help but stare and stare and stare at her boobs. OMG! I have becomed a Dirty Ol'Man this morning! Usually the DOM syndrome only starts at night, heh!

Hotbabe didn't know that I was stealing glances at her boobs. I was struggling inside - should I tell her or not?

Hotbabe: Here's the card Mr Buaya. Have a good day.

Me: Thanks! [whisper] pssstt... one of your blouse's button is undone.

Hotbabe: [Facial expression changed to embarassment. Her blouse's top button was fasten but was undone at the chest hence could clearly see her bra] Sorry.... [Quickly tries to button her blouse]

Me: It's OK (of course lar!). Have a nice day!

Buaya69 sings,"It wasn't me!"

Jessica Simpson with unbuttoned blouse...

Rock thrown at my speeding car on the East Coast Expressway

2008-07-30T10:27:00.007+07:00

On Friday 25 July 2008, about 7.25pm, along the East Coast Expressway (aka Karak highway) km141.7 heading towards Kuantan, some @#$% maniac threw a rock at my speeding car from a hillslope and smashed my rear passenger side window.

These are the pics my friend took of the damage:

The rest of the story:

My colleague was reclining at the front passenger seat. We just had our McD Quarter Pounder which we bought at the Genting Sempah outlet. There was still some light from the setting sun when suddenly, I saw up ahead, big yellow coloured rocks on the road strewn across the slow lane to the fast lane. There was no way I can avoid the rocks.

Slowing down from 120km/h, I think I hit the rocks at 90km/h and at that precise moment, BANG! Shattered glass was flying all over the cabin and wind was just howling in. My colleague woke up and asked "What happened??!!!???". All I could say was "Rock... we hit a rock."

We pulled over just around a bend 300 metres in front and I saw an MPV and a Honda hogging the SOS booth. I pulled up slightly upfront and got out to inspect the damage. Immediately, two chinese men and an elderly malay man ran over. One of the chinese guys shouted,"Wahhhh, li kor chung sai leh arrr!!" meaning "Fuck! This fella got it worse!!!"

I think they were as relieved as me that none of us were hurt, it's only damage to the car. They told us that rocks were also thrown at them back at the bend. One of the chinese fella was so enraged that he wanted to climb that hill and beat the shit out of the rock throwers. Anyway, we all parted ways leaving me to figure out whether to continue driving ahead and seek help at an unfamiliar town or turn back to KL. Looking at the damage and the expected rains over the weekend, we decided to turn back.

At the Maran exit, we made a report at the toll plaza. Apparently, we were the second car to make such a report that evening.

Syukur
On our way back, we said our thanks. If our car was slightly faster, the rock could have shattered the front passenger side and blinded my friend or seriously disfiguring his face. And I, due to the flying shattered glass, could have lost control of the car and then KABOOM!

I believed that my colleague, just like me, played out the event over and over again as we were drove back to KL. We were that split second close to horrendous possibilities. The cost of repairing the bent frame and a new window, only a small fee of RM330. Coming out alive and scratch free, priceless.

What's next?
Arising from this, I have made arrangement with an ex-colleague to shop for car window tinting this weekend. I will also be writing to MTD Prime and give them a piece of my mind.

Buaya69 says,"Syukurlah, I can still hug my wife and kids" ;)

Proverbs

2008-07-17T19:01:00.005+07:00

In these times of deja vu for DSAI and RPK getting the slammer again, here's a message of wisdom from the Bible to the lords of the day.

Proverbs 17
(15) Acquitting the guilty and condemning the innocent—
the LORD detests them both.

(26) It is not good to punish an innocent man,
or to flog officials for their integrity.

Proverbs 16
(8) Better a little with righteousness
than much gain with injustice.

(10) The lips of a king speak as an oracle,
and his mouth should not betray justice.

(12) Kings detest wrongdoing,
for a throne is established through righteousness.

I didn't say that, the Lord of Lords did.

Buaya69 says, "Ignore at your own risk"

Buaya69's day 138 into new job

2008-07-13T21:11:00.007+07:00

This coming Tuesday is Day 138 of my employment with this organisation and for much of the last 100 days, it has been a "hell of a ride" for this ol'buaya! Henceforth, I will refer my organisation as the "Themepark", heh!

Come to think of it, Themepark really suits my organisation. Almost everyone is customer-facing but doing it behind a mask, the Themepark's mask. Everyone is busy doing something, everything is urgent like now now now! And there are always plans for a better customer experience but constraint by so many things that it really boggles the mind that my colleagues have managed to bring the Themepark this far! Amazing people, really.

Anyway, it has been an eye-opener for me. For a very long time I have not broken my limits and moved out of my comfort zone. My boss really pushed me to the limits, and more than once I felt like strangling him with my own hands, but this was my choice and I have to take whatever comes my way - No Pain, No Gain! Yeah, right.... :P

Today, I want to blog something "management" but really, it's about myself, in between the lines lar. Today, I want to write about "Buaya69 Guidelines for Building Relationships and Image in 100 days"... wow, sometimes I amaze even myself with my own bull, heh!

(A) It's easy when you know where you are
Almost into Day 2, I found out that my position came with a lot of negative historical baggage. In short, people disliked me by virtue of my position, and it really sucks! Ok, that was easy. Now, to find out why and I did it the old fashion way. I asked.

(B) It's easy when you know where you want to go
Once I have established the reasons, I sat down to think of my career and responsibilities at the Themepark. I would be lying if I say I didn't think of resigning. I sort of visualised my destination by end of Year 2 and the pitstops I needed to make along the journey, whom I would like to meet and make friends/allies with and whom I want to avoid as my nemesis, if possible.

Having said that, one will have more than one enemy in any workplace. Sometimes it can't be helped. It could be your overpowering cologne, your smelly fart or loud burp. The critical issue here is to know who regards YOU as their enemy. It sucks big time when you have to utter "You too Brutus?", hence know who regards you as enemy. It was easy for me because of (A) above, sigh...

(C) It's easy when you know what the puppeteers want
Yes, we are all puppets but as puppets, we can also refuse to follow the line and do our own dance routine. If we chose to do that, then we must live with the consequences and there can only be 2 outcomes. Either the puppeteer is overjoyed with your dance or he's hellbend on destroying you, the evil puppet with a mind of its own. Yes, you, the evil puppet, fit as tinder in the clay furnace. Therefore, before you do your own dance routine, it helps to know what the puppeteer or puppeteers, as in my case, wants, then give it to them. Sales people normally do such analysis about their clients, so why not us?

(D) It's easy when you can handle "NO" effectively
This is a simple truth. We will experience more "NO" than "YES" in the course of our work. But this truth is usually lost to many people. They get worked up, hyperventilate, do a voodoo doll curse, or worse, go home and fling the poor cat by its tail. I love cats. Ever wonder why we'll get more "NO" than "YES"? The truth is, not many people will dare to say "YES" mainly due to lack of power/authority/influence or for the simple fact that they just don't have the balls to say it, hence they say "NO" or worse, warble something incoherent which is neither yes nor no. You will realise very quickly that there aren't many good decision makers in any organisation, and that fact could be an opportunity or a threat to your career, depending on how you perceive it ;)

(E) It's easy when you don't make life difficult for people
I have met many people who will shout into your ears "This is my RIGHT so I will do ANYTHING to get it, ptui!". It's quite easy to spot these people. They are usually voiceful of their thoughts and will not listen to any other because they think that they are right and will go to great logical lengths to proof that they are right. I label them as selfish arrogants. Selfish, because they don't think of others but themselves. In the course of our work, do always check whether we become such selfish arrogant bastards. It's no surprise then if people close their doors on you. So who will open their doors to me? Only if I bring value to them and to begin with, do not make worklife more difficult than it is for them. Easy right? So, what's your value proposition?

OK, I think that's enough bull. I have 50 days to my 180 days milestone, yup, my confirmation day. Time to strap up for another month of rollercoaster ride, wheeeeee!!!

Buaya69 asks,"I wonder when I can take the Tunnel of Love ride...." :P

Feeling the pinch (2)

2008-06-17T13:34:00.005+07:00

I was having tea with my malay buddy from another division, let's call him Mat. And naturally, we spoke of the increasing cost of living especially with housing loan, car loan, ageing parents and school going kids to support.

Mat: You know Buaya, I envy you cina. Food cost so much lesser.

B69: Apa cakap lu? My ayam and your ayam still the same price mar! :P

Mat: Kepala hotak engkau! I meant the restaurants lar. You try eating in a mamak or malay restaurant? You cuba kira how much an average plate of rice with meat and vege will cost. And don't get me started on Nasi Kandar restaurants, aiyoyo, mahal betui!

B69: Ya hor. My chap farn still manageable at RM4.50 max max. Nasi Kandar? Let's not venture there.

Mat: And come this budget day, if the Gahmen increase my harga rokok, I will... I will...

B69: ... quit smoking? Good for ya!

Mat: sigh.... I think I will downgrade to rokok daun soon

B69: I don't smoke, so tak tau ler, but I very the kek-sim (heartache) last nite kat Shell station. They ran out of the RM2.70 petrol, kononnya quota habis, so I was forced to pump RM3.15/ltr for Shell V-Power.... my bill easily more than RM100....

Mat: RM3.15? wah... I hope my blur-blur mya isteri tak pam V-Power, nanti poket I takde power lagi... -_-"""

Buaya69 is thinking,"Should I get a RM5k kapchai to scoot-scoot to and fro work? Hmmm..."

Super selfish ahlians

2008-06-13T18:24:00.002+07:00

Recently, our cafeteria has seen a surge of staff eating-in rather than driving-out. Must be due to the recent 40% price hike on fuel. Looks like most of us wage earners in the company have "changed our lifestyle". The Gahmen should be happy.

Arising from this sudden demand, there just aren't enough tables and chairs during "peak" hours, namely 12pm - 1.30pm. But we'll still line-up for food and drinks, pay at the counter and then wait for some kind soul to vacate their seat or table. Most of the staff are understanding and they'll quickly vacate their seat upon finishing their food, especially during peak hours.

This is where I want to rant about these 6 good-for-nothing super-selfish ahlians. It was super-peak that day and many of us were just standing with our food waiting for tables. Not a very nice experience when your tummy is growling growling. My colleague saw this table of ahlians. They have already finished their food and were just chatting away. My colleagues, Mr G and Ms S, stood behind them expecting the ahlians to move. 5 mins..... 10 mins..... basket! They were still yakking away about their dogs and cats and bad hair days and pms's and what nots, even after the cleaner came and took away their empty plates! Basket!

I was going to walk over and give them the "move bitch!" when I chance upon a table leaving. I quickly sat down and waved to my colleagues to come over. Needless to say, another staff-desperately-waiting-for-a-table stood behind them and these ahlian bitches just continued yakking away, dius! How could someone, and a group at that, be soooooo insensitive?

After our meals, we left immediately to make way for others and this group of ugly ahlians were still, well, cleaning the table with their saliva. Some people just get on your nerves. Basket!

Buaya69 asks, "What good is a "high" education and a "high" salary when you are so low on the humanistic scale? Dius!"

Feeling the pinch

2008-06-05T19:06:00.002+07:00

I guess a lot has been written (and demonstrated) about the high jump in petrol price by 78sen to RM2.70 per litre of petrol. That's a freaking 41% increase!

I am already spending RM70 per week on petrol, and that's only from Monday to Friday's to-and-fro office. This recent increase just added another RM30 per week to my petrol bill. RM100 per week on petrol bill only... sob.

And if my wife and I can feel the pinch, what more of the lower income group? With wife, parents and kids to feed?

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Me: Oi sayang, you looked really under the weather. Kenapa? Boss kera you ke?

Malay sexytary: Ya, saya tengah sakit ni. Last nite I queued for 45 minutes to fill-up my almost empty tank. Sakit, sakit...

Me: Ya ke? I tak queue queue. I calculated that I would only save RM10 because I was 3/4 full. But from this weekend, I think my refill bill would touch RM100, sakit! sakit!

Sexytary: Harlo yang, I lagi sakit. I drive a Naza Citra, cuba kira? Hmmmpphhh! And I voted for BN! Betul-betul Barang Naik, hmmmppphh! geramnya!!!!

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Everywhere I go in the office, I can hear staff talking about their queueing experience, how it's going to impact their plans to buy car, house, savings, no more eating out, etc etc etc. This price hike was really a wake-up call but for the poor folks, it's from bad to worse.

Should we be anticipating more crime from now on? When hunger strikes, people will do drastic things to feed their love ones. Which parent can bear to see their baby or kids cry for food out of hunger? What would you do if you were that parent?

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Over a drink, a person whom I respect and count as one of my best friends thought aloud, that Mr PM has been ill-advised on the fuel hike. It is too drastic and burdensome for the man-on-the-street. And he can't help but feel that a trojan horse made this happen to put Mr PM in a bad, bad light.

Whatever it was, Mr PM, since you dared to raise the fuel price by this much, burdening the poor further, you and your cabinet ministers in their black tailored suits must dare face the consequences, politically and socially. Now, where are the Petronas accounts?

Buaya69 says,"We are screwed! And I'm gonna yell out loud in pain!"

Failing Hotbabe Radar

2008-05-23T20:32:00.003+07:00

At the company cafe.....

Sexytary: Hoi buaya, did you see that blond hotbabe?

Me: Babe? Where?

Sexytary: Aiyoh, you blind or what? She was just standing beside you!

Me: Really? Where got?

Sexytary: Oi, you real or not? There! [points points] She's over there...

Me: Oh shit! I WAS standing beside her and didn't even notice her!

Sexytary: You semakin tua lar, just admit it lar [wink wink]

Me: Aiyoh, I was hungry mar! No energy to power my Babe Radar. Abuden, maybe should tweak the Babe Radar a bit. Time to go for shopping and use my "See without Seeing" cucimata kungfu, hehehe

Buaya69 says,"Sasaran di hadapan, 20m, siap, tembak!"

Zorro, Rocky & Jeff are gonna wring my tail

2008-05-12T18:26:00.003+07:00

Bumped into Dato' Syed Faisal at the club last week. Yeah, the same Dato' CEO of NSTP that has an ongoing civil case against Jeff Ooi and Rocky.

Faisal and I caught up with lost years in between us, how many kids we each have, how good he still looks after all these years - taking great care on his weight and not putting a pouch like the rest of us, and then we did the usual non-blogger thingy, we exchanged business cards, hah!

Finally told him that I attended the BUM 2008 and am a blogger. With eyebrows raised, and a "ohhhh", Faisal immediately asked for my blogsites. Well, here it is bruder! Just don't sue me, ok? :D

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Uncle Zorro, when shall we next down some shots? I will bring my 18yo Highlander and then leave it at Gus's place, the Fisherman's Wharf. But please, don't compare this to your 30yo Famous Grouse... You know my number :P

Buaya69 asks,"I need my shots.... :D"

Meaning of RPK

2008-05-06T19:31:00.008+07:00

From the usual source lar: Mob1900

What does RPK stands for? Apart from Raja Petra Kamarudin, to me it stands for "Rakyat Pentingkan Keadilan!"

Abuden.......

Source: I think this is from Knights Templar

A picture tells a thousand words but FEELINGS of INJUSTICE speaks VOLUMES!

For those old enough to know this song, Buaya69 sings.....
"It's a long road
When you're on your own
And it hurts when
They tear your dreams apart
And every new town
Just seems to bring you down
Trying to find peace of mind
Can break your heart
It's a real war
Right outside your
front door I tell ya
Out where they'll kill ya
You could use a friend
Where the road is
That's the place for me
Where I'm me in my own space
Where I'm free that's the place
I wanna be
'Cause the road is long yeah
Each step is only the beginning
No breaks just heartaches
Oh man is anybody winning
It's a long road
And it's hard as hell
Tell me what do you do
To survive
When they draw first blood
That's just the start of it
Day and night you gotta fight
To keep alive
It's a long road ..."

Buaya69 also says,"Enough is enough!"

Smoking

2008-04-28T13:06:00.005+07:00

B69: I’m stressed! @#$%^& stressed!

HotYoungMalayChick (HMC): Is it? Come! Let’s go for a smoke. I belanja.

B69: Smoke? Only pipes and cigars for me. No sticks, thank you.

HYMC: Ya ke? Wah, abang ni ada gaya.

B69: Hehehe, not like you, can tarik tarik kat luar. Woi, how many buaya’s and hari-harimau’s have you attracted so far? I’m sure you have a fan club at the smoking zone.

HYMC: Takde lar! Where got? So many other hot chicks in jeans kat this place. Most men treat me like a small adik aje.

B69: Tu lar, that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. Some like it hot and young! Muahahahaar!

HYMC: Hoi! *piak piak buaya69* Anyway, when they know that you are my boss, most of them back off, hehehehe! You bigger buaya mar!

B69: -_-""" ... anyway... (tukar topic), how may sticks do you light up a day?

HYMC: eeyerr, shy lar....

B69: Cakaplar. Tak perlu shy shy one, kan saya Uncle Buaya? *evil grin*

HYMC: *blek!* Anyway, if you want to know, I have been trying to cut down. Right now I am smoking one box a day?

B69: Fulamak! I hope they are "lights"?

HYMC: hehehe, no lar. Sempoerna....

B69: -_-"""" woah.... that's... like a LOT!

HYMC: *shy shy* yah....

Seriously, I see so many of our youth smoking their lives away. Why? Why? Why? Is it because of peer pressure? And pressure for what? To blend in? Gaya hebat? To tell your peers that I have grown up?

Aiyoh, I guess it's true then. Youth is indeed wasted on the young. Sigh....

Buaya69 says,"Oi! Go play PS2 kalu stress stress lar!" hehehe

New job, new challenges

2008-03-27T17:11:00.005+07:00

Man, this site sure has lots of cobwebs! *brush brush*

To the few (less than 10 me thinks) than still comes over to this already pathetic blog, a short update on me me me.

The blog title says it all. I have just changed job and from the Financial Services industry, I am now in the Entertainment and Broadcasting industry. A totally different ballgame altogether, wahlaueh!

And no, although I am a MICPA, I am not in the finance department but in a role not many people would dream of putting into their "cita-cita section". I think this is because hardly anyone hears about such positions and secondly, even if they know, this job comes loaded with problems because, well, it's a problem solving position. Definitely not for someone with small balls for dogfights or weak stomachs for abuses but if you are someone like KennySia with Big Bird and balls of Coconuts, email me! Buaya69 needs you here, heh!

I have been thrown into the medium end of things here, largely thanks to my boss shielding me from most of the key issues, not because he favours me, but because I know so very little about the business. The challenge is for me to pick things up exponentially quickly but kindergarten time is running out because the next Board meeting is just a month away, yikes!

Having said the above, this would be the last time I mention about my present job. My policy is not to blog about my job or duties, as proven from my earlier posts. Confidentiality is important especially in these days of commercial and intellectual espionage and we owe a duty of trust to our employer.

One good thing that comes with my job is time, YES! When I am a bit more settled down, I can get down to posting all those things I wanna blog for sooooo soooooo loooonnng, especially for my family blog.

Until the next post, cherio!

Hujan batu di negeri sendiri (Part 1)

2008-02-11T16:44:00.000+07:00

"Hujan emas di negeri orang, hujan batu di negeri sendiri, lebih baik negeri sendiri"
- Malay proverb

My literal translation "Although gold rains down in another country and hailstones in my own country, it is still better to stay in my own country"

The past 4 days of Chinese New Year celebrations, I had the opportunity to catch up with several close friends and ex-colleagues over several mamak outings. Naturally, my tummy has expanded in exponential proportions to the amount of roti tisu, cheese nan, and teh halia to boot, heh!

Catching up with friends back from London, Hongkong, Singapore, China, New York, Sydney, San Francisco, Doha and etc etc, this question frequently cropped up - "WTF are you still in KL? Come to (country name) and with your skills, I can help put your name for a job!".

Seriously guys, I do not doubt that the financial rewards are much better if translated into RM, and the work/life balance is definitely way better than KL, and the super-plus point is that our children, if I am a PR, would get a better education as compared to Malaysia. So why not?

Education
Over a CNY lunch, some babe asked me this. A lot of her friends are talking about migrating for the sake of their children's education. They have lost all hope in the Malaysian education system to prepare their kids for a globalised, realtime information and mobile world. Since I'm a "Hujan Batu" person, she asked for my thoughts.

My wife and I are products of the local university system. When we started working, the reality dawned upon us that we were almost "hopeless" in all technical, report writing, presentation and decision making process when compared to the foreign grads. Needless to say, we were truly humbled. That was 15 years ago. (OK, you can work out my age liao, heh!)

Today, I have loads of issues trying to hire local grads, be them from government universities or the local twinning universities. I want to help but 90% of them can't pass our minimal standards. For one, emails are a must these days and FYI, they are permissible as court evidence, hence I need some common sense of what to write and a fairly good command of written English. So how do we test? A 100 word essay, pick any topic that you are comfortable with. 90% of the time, my boss and I have a good laugh and head shaking on reading the essays. Sad, very very sad but true. Here's a sample of what I have read:

"I very good with word and excel file. Can also bluetooth to print"

"I am liking to work with your bank because I want to use what I study in banking and finance. I am hoping to learn how to make a lot of money for your bank."

"Since my university, I have always a leader among the students...."

And I can go on and on and on. Of course there are the 10% gems and they could be of any race, Malay, Chinese or Indian, so you can't profile a grad just by virtue of their race. Anyone doing that is definitely discriminatory. Interviews are heartbreaking sessions too but I will save that for another day.

Coming back to the "Hujan Batu" and the migrating-for-children-education issue, I am one of them that's disappointed with the Malaysian school and higher education system, for its failure to produce students and graduates that can compete with the best and the brightest in the region.

Our country's progress, if you take away the tin mines and the plantations, were largely resting on the good ol' dedicated Kirby trained teachers and a love-for-teaching educators, who instilled in our fathers and mothers the desire to excel and exceed expectations with focused discipline and ethics. Sadly, standards have since been lowered and is continuing to descend further into the "laughing stock" category, if my interviews were of any objective observation.

Reading the papers, Education Minister Hishammuddin looks like he's trying to reverse the descend with the National Education blueprint but one can't help but notice a lot of physical development (more contracts?) and on-the-surface racial integration strategies. Sadly, I can't read any indepth study into what actually will make our students world-class. It is definitely not more computers and air-conditioned classrooms. It is plainly GOOD TEACHERS. Give these teachers a tin roofed shed and they will still produce excellent students, hands down. So, what is the blueprint doing to produce World Class Teachers? I sincerely hope to be enlightened on this.

Coming back to the "Hujan Batu" and the migrating-for-children-education issue (again, ahaks!), I think we as parents, need NOT migrate for the sake of our children's education. 10 years into the future, education is going to be more commercialised than now, I predict lar. So, if you have the money, your kid will still get that paper and get to throw that square hat into the air.

I honestly think that the migrating-for-children-education excuse is just that, an excuse. The real reason is that these parents have lost hope in the country's leaders to lead their children into a better future. There, I have said it. That's the crux of the matter. Simple as that.

So, am I leaving the country? No. I'm a Hujan Batu person. This is my country. I am a Malaysian at heart and hope to instill that in my children.

I can't say I speak for all Malaysian parents with school going kids, but just me and me alone. My girls will study in Malaysia but sadly, not in the government schools. I have lost hope in the teaching standards of government schools and what students they can produce. Gone were the days of my alma mater's dedicated teachers of all races - a malay teacher for teaching me (boring) history in a new and exciting way, a chinese teacher for patiently teaching us mind-boggling add maths over and over again until we got it, an indian teacher for disciplining us with his super long rotan, heh! and so many more. Gosh, I really missed them.

Please, I am not dissing our teachers for the sake of dissing, they are human too and I have friends who are teachers and lecturers, but the general results show for themselves, and I don't think I would like to gamble with my girls future.

So what if a lot of students are scoring higher and higher, like getting 13 A1's? It's nothing to shout about if the bar has been lowered. The reality will sink in when these students try to get well paying jobs and compete with foreign grads. Remember, the world is getting flatter or already has.

And as for the teachers, these engine of soft-skill development, how are they motivated? Are they rewarded fairly? Simple but deep questions that are not easily addressed but must be bravely addressed for the sake of the country's future.

Our leaders must realise that there are no shortcuts to glory. Buildings and towers and highways can be destroyed in seconds, but not the character, loyalty and creative thinking of its people. It is time that education is given REAL emphasis just like in the days of the Missionary and British rule. Am I being disloyal by writing that? I think not. I love this country too much to be disloyal.

Buaya69 says, "May we have teachers and lecturers that can produce students and graduates for an increasingly globalised, real-time information and mobile world."

Leica D-Lux3

2007-12-31T16:16:00.000+07:00

B69: Dear... *ahem cough cough, clears throat*... I splurged today, on a camera....

Mrs B: sigh, these things don't last long, do they? You just bought one 3 years ago! And that was to take our baby SueAnne's photos not long after she was born... haiyar! *walks away*

B69: *gulps!*

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Two days later, as we were preparing to go out...

Mrs B: Is that the new camera you bought? *Pointing to my camera waist pouch*

B69: errr, arrr, err *GULPS* .... y..e...s...?

Mrs B: OMG OMG OMG! You bought a LEICA??? okkkkk... how much was it? *gives Stare of Death*

B69: errr... RM2k plus plus? but but but *clears throat* the Canon Ixus40 was giving problems already mar.... so I beli replacement lor... takes very nice photos you know... and this is a cheapo Leica, not the Leica M8 leh.... *wait for Mrs B's killer blow*

Mrs B: Ok lar, I let you escape this time. Go and enjoy your new toy *smile smile at me - somehow, I think she enjoys torturing me, heh! :P*

My trusty Canon IXUS40 will now be relegated to "Go To Work" camera while the Leica Dlux3 will be the "Family Outing" camera. The Canon has been good to us but the connector has been giving us lots of trouble lately. After CNY, I will send it in for servicing. Hopefully, it does not cost more than RM100 for parts and services.

My hands perspire a lot (that's why I so ham ham sup sup, hah!). THE colour for a Leica is black, but to avoid the camera from being a fingerprint magnet, I reluctantly took the silver Leica. The bonus was of course the Dlux3 leather pouch - limited and almost hard to get - and I got ONE ONE ONE! *Buaya69 does the freaky consumer dance*

Yup, that's another new toy for Buaya69. Please excuse me while I go practice by taking SYT photos in black & white, muahahahahar!

Buaya69 is... "saving for an M8.. now, THAT's a camera!"

Upgraded the family car's sound system

2007-10-30T10:58:00.000+07:00

After 4 years, I finally upgraded the family car's in-car sound system.

Please please please, this is NOT a buy-on-the-fly i.e. splurge. Our original Toyota CD+Cassette player is beginning to give up its power (pun intended!). To my surprise, it held up for 4 years and may go on for another year, but if not for it failing to play Mrs B and my girls favourite CD, I would not have thought of spending hard earned savings for an expense. (ya, rite..... :P)

And the damage report....

Fujitsu Ten Eclipse CD3000 (but the pic here was sourced from eBay)

Diamond front speakers + tweeters
PhoenixGold rear speakers
Eclipse iPod interface adapter iPC106

Got the Eclipse CD3000 at clearance price because there's already a replacement model, the CD3100. Had to change the OEM speakers too because their coils have given way already. Anyway, the OEM speakers are nothing to shout about but I must admit, Toyota's setup was quite optimised for the car. We enjoyed them through these 4 years (if your ears are de-sensitised lar, hehehe)

Overall, the new setup is without, or will ever install any amplifiers. The Eclipse is a high-end 5V in-dash receiver and is capable of powering those selected speakers. Any higher, I would have to install amplifiers but not these, hence money saved, heh! :) :D :P

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Over the weeks, I ter-racun two of my colleagues. One of them just upgraded her car's sound system - an Alpine CD receiver which is iPod ready, Diamond front and Alpine rear speakers. The other ter-racun colleague is waiting for an iPod receiver for his Pioneer player, all from the same accessories shop run by Kelvin Ku.

What I liked about Kelvin is his honest advice, good service (setup, testing and after sales) and reasonable pricing. After hearing his setups and comparing to the Sony's and Clarions.... just like Mac, you'll never look back to Windows OS and PCs.

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The Toyota is driven by Mrs B because it is a safer car to ferry the kids than my 10yo Wira. The kids can now sing along to their favourite CD and Mrs B has a better in-car sound to listen while inching along KL's traffic gridlock.

Abuden, there's something missing......

To be continued.... if I have the time to post Part 2 lar, oops!

Updated - 15 November 2007

Well, the missing part was the iPod nano 8Gb. Got it for Mrs B as a wedding anniversary present. Cerita kat sini.

Garmin GPS10

2007-10-16T15:32:00.000+07:00

About a week ago, after toying with the idea of getting a Garmin Nuvi 200 for RM1,100 cash, I finally decided, rather sensibly really, to use my ageing Palm Tungsten 3 to the max, and bought a Garmin GPS10 for RM400 at Low Yat plaza. It is now paired via Bluetooth to the Palm T3 for GPS navigation.

I think Palm has to thank Garmin, because due to the GPS10, my Palm T3's life has been extended. Soon, it will solely be used for my navigation purposes, that is

If I can find a car charger for my ageing Palm T3 (a sourcing trip down to SG? hehehe), and
Until I transfer my contacts, calendar, notes, memo and etc into my next Toy purchase, an Apple iPhone! Muahahahahar!

In the meantime, muah is a happy fatty crocodilly with his new toy. The GPS10 is a bit dated especially compared to handphones and GPS receivers with SiRF III chipsets, but it serves its purpose.

But what good is a GPS without useful maps? Thank goodness for the guys (and gals) at malsingmaps.com. This group of hobbyists have made ze bestest FREE GPS map of Malaysia, ever! Now, if I can only get the CETUS GPS to work with the GPS10 for tracking purposes... and then malsingmaps.com will be full of buaya-ism waypoints, muahahahaahar!

Buaya69 says, "Where shall we go for lunch? Asian, Western, BBQ? hehehe"

The Photocopier

2007-10-05T20:25:00.000+07:00

When I was an intern in an accounting firm about 20 years ago ( gah!), apart from my very senior boss, I was fortunate to be the only wannabe-alpha-male in the tax services department of 15 SYTs, woohoo!

ABUDEN, being the only alpha male also means you have to do what a man's expected to do, like scan the PC for virus (remember that this was 20 years ago, A:\Floppy was still KING!), map network printer to PC and etc etc that's techie and heavy lifting lar.

But it was in that firm that I really learnt how to repair a photocopier machine. That @#$% machine will magically paper jammed during tax filing deadlines and the SYTs would automatically turn into super-PMS girls. If looks can kill, I would have died 100 x 100 times already :P

When I finally graduated and was working in one of the Big 4 (at that time, it was Big 8!), that can-repair-photocopier machine skill was extremely helpful. In a department of 100 staff, we all shared a super-duper photocopier machine. It was 8-feet long, can perform stapling and sorting of papers up to 20 trays and can print faster than you can say "Hello". Yup, super expensive too.

Imagine... 100 plus persons sharing that machine. At anytime, you can see a line of people (mainly assistants) lining up to photocopy their documents. This was an opportune time to know my colleagues, especially the SYTs, hehehe.

Being a heavy duty machine, sometimes it gets paper jammed too (e.g. noobs loading the paper wrongly, arrgh!) and when that happens, the ever popular F and S word gets uttered. If I were there, provided there is at least one SYT around, I will go and fix that machine, opening up its covers like a pro, removing the rollers, turning here and there and voila! the jammed paper will wonderfully appear. The adoration of the SYT assistants, the "oohh" "ahhh" "tq tq tq" is enough payment. I also realised that photocopier/printer areas are very very important grounds for..... babe hunting! Muahahahar!

To the present day...

The photocopier machines have now morphed into photocopy-printer-fax-scanner machines, and due to their high cost, these are usually networked and shared by many many people. This combination presents another super opportunity for the office buaya/predator to get to know other colleagues, especially the tall, slim, black long haired SYTs, muahahahar!

Just about a year ago, my division used to share a photocopier-printer with 3 other divisions. And working in a bank, FEMALES RULEZ! I made so many new friends through this manner ;)

Now, if only the photocopier machine can also incorporate a coffee/expresso machine. Ahhh, that would have been ideal, muahahahahar!

Buaya69 screams, "Who's the asshole that placed a stapled document in the paper feeder??? It's freaking 9pm now, KNN!"

Booger vs. Law of Attraction

2007-10-02T18:15:00.000+07:00

The "Law of Attraction" states that "you get what you think about; your thoughts determine your experience". The 3 steps are:

1 Know what you want and ask the universe for it.

2 Feel and behave as if the object of your desire is on its way.

3 Be open to receiving it.

Wow! What a revelation!

Now, I should think that I am a rich fella. Have daily ready cash of RM100,000 to spend every single day. Woohoo! Ok, I shall get that GPS tomorrow, yes!

Next, I shall think that the hotbabes in my office are attracted to me because of my nose's sexy hair. Yessiree, so attracted that they wanna to check out my nose hair face-to-face, nose-to-nose and mouth-to-mouth everyday, heh!

Hmmm, since I am getting fatter, I should think about being well-muscled, a can-tahan 3 hour sex machine, and since we are on that topic, maybe a 2 footer for the wiener, hah!

The Test
But like all laws, it should be put to the test, right?

This morning, as I was driving to work, this nasty little booger was tickling my nostrils. I dug out that nasty fella and then to me horrors-of-horrors, the tissue box was at the back seat!

Remember that "you get what you think about; your thoughts determine your experience"? OK, I thought hard that the booger will be blown away by the wind, simple. Sure fire test one. I wound down the window and stuck my hand out like an Ah Beng driving a kancil. Think hard, think hard. Booger get blown away, think hard.

Check check, nope... booger still on finger. The speedometer read 80km/h, gulp.... OK, then I thought hard, flicked booger in 80km/h wind... think hard think hard....

Nope, booger still on finger.

Conclusion? My boogers are damn icky, urgh!

Goodbye, my Lil'Chiq

2007-06-05T08:16:00.000+07:00

Yesterday was a sad day for me... and also for a lot of people I know and don't know.

Just as I was going to start the day with a pow-wow-no-holds-barred meeting, I received a disturbing sms from Waisign that Lil'Chiq has committed suicide. I was hoping that it was a joke but alas, no.

Chiq aka Val, I don't know why you chose this route. I guess I never will. I have known you since 2002 and throughout all those years, you have been a blessing to me.

May you rest in peace.

DOMnified

2007-05-30T08:04:00.000+07:00

Did a stock check of my bottles in the drink cabinet. Alamak! So many unopened bottles of Dom Benedictine's!

I suspect they were pressies for Mrs B from well-wishers when she gave birth to SueAnne. Nevermind, I thought. Since Mrs B is not fond of alcohol, maybe I can give them away as pressies but tengok tengok, all will be expiring soon, haiyar!

That only left me with the option of consuming them but muah here is no fan of Dom. However, a man's got to do what a man's got to do. Hence, allow me to introduce to you the various ways of consuming Dom, hehehe.

(1) Dommilo

2 big tablespoons of Milo
Steaming hot water
No sugar
Two shots of Dom
Result? Heavenly sleep ;)

(2) Domcafe

1 tablespoon of Nescafe instant coffee, preferably strong
Steaming hot water
No sugar
2 - 3 shots of Dom
Result? Go Go Go!

Best taken in office but make sure no one catches you. Alternatively, you can do what I do. CONVERT your cubicle colleagues to the wonders of Domcafe, muahahahahar! *evil*

(3) Tangy Surprise

Straight from the fridge
1 - 2 sticks of carrot (cold)
2 - 3 oranges (cold)
1 apple (cold)
juice them all
add 2 shots of Dom
stir
Result? Refreshing!

That's all for now.

Future experiments will include juicing cucumber, celery (quite yucky by itself), dash of bacardi lemon, whisky, ribena and maybe even red/white wine. Not sure about the latter but the rest should be a nice mix of tripple, hic!

Buaya69 says... "Who needs the Beach Club? Unless you wanna be hunted ler, muahahahahar!"

Uncle and Auntie swearing in hokkien at Giant Puchong

2007-04-30T18:45:00.000+07:00

One evening while out shopping with Mrs B and the family at Giant Puchong...

Auntie: Hoi! Keen na. Boh chiak peng ar? Kii chiak sai lar le!

Uncle: *trotting over* lai lar lai lar. em mai ani tuah sia eh sai bo? kanineh!

Auntie: lu kii kam lan lar!

Uncle: cipet!

Auntie: lancau!

Uncle: lu hor lang kan la!

Auntie: hah? hor tiang kan ar? see le ai kan wor niah mah! si beh yong eh tuah keena! chiak sai lar le!

Uncle: *speechless*

Auntie: *staring at uncle with hands-at-the-hips-auntie pose*

Honest! They above really took place but I have no idea how the conversation ended because I was moving in another direction. My ear waxes almost flowed out listening to them swearing at each other in hokkien. Just to complete the scene, imagine this:

Auntie is wearing a very thin two piece pyjamas, wearing a red bra (yes, OMG! OMG! OMG!) and with two hair curlers at the back (ZOMG!). But the Uncle was quite decently dressed in a short sleeve shirt and short pants. They both looked like in their 50s and 60s.

Mrs B: What were you looking at?

Me: You don't want to know. I am just amazed at some people shopping here. Must come here more often, hehehe

Buaya69 says... "OMG! Can't shake that red bra of my mind, arrrrgghhh!"

India's appraisal forms requiring menstrual info

2007-04-12T17:50:00.000+07:00

India re-assesses menstrual forms

The form asks for a "detailed menstrual history"

The Indian government says it will review new appraisal forms requiring female civil servants to reveal details of their menstrual cycles.
The ministry of personnel says it has written to the health ministry following complaints from staff that the form was grossly insensitive.
The questions are said to have been inserted on health ministry advice.

Annual appraisals and health checks are mandatory in India's civil service, one of the country's largest employers.

Let's just say that our Gahmen requires this too, but to be fair, the MEN would now need to make similar disclosures. Buaya69, the evil consultant has this to suggest:

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ANNUAL CIVIL SERVANT PERFORMANCE APPRAISAL (for men):

Please give a detailed history of each of your wanking experiences for the last 6 months with the following information:

1) Date and time of each wanking session (Please highlight in BOLD if it's during official working hours)

2) Venue of each wanking session (Please highlight in BOLD if it's in the government premises)

3) Time taken to wank till orgasm in seconds. (State in bold UNSUCCESSFUL and reasonable reasons if unable to reach orgasm)

4) Please list down the name(s) of the person(s) imagined/fantasized for the wanking session by gender, age, and relationship (Please highlight in BOLD if a superior officer). If the imaginary/fantasy was not a human being, please describe the animals or creatures.

5) Briefly describe the key imaginary scene(s) of your wanking session. (Please indicate the sexual styles used with reference to the Kamasutra text)

6) Any other information

You are advised that the information provided will be fed into our super sophisticated modelling program to assess the health and productivity of the appraisee. Examples of possible results are (not exhaustive):

a) Healthy Raging Bull - possibility of 6 months bonus with imminent transfer to locations with low birth rate. However, relocation cost for spouse and family is not included.

b) Sadistic - potential candidate for exchange programme to US Guantanamo Bay Detainment Camp, Cuba. Eligible for outstation allowance but not hardship allowance as appraisee is expected to enjoy the exchange programme's itinerary.

c) Texas Chainsaw Massacre - modelling indicates that appraisee's profile is suitable for promotion. 12 months bonus is recommended.

On completion of the form, you are required to thumb print and provide a Statutory Declaration in accordance with the Statutory Declaration Act 1960 in front of a Commissioner for Oaths, of which the cost is payable by yourself.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There, now wouldn't that be fairer?

Buaya69 says... "Shit, my appraisal's just around the corner!"

Anger management

2007-04-11T17:01:00.000+07:00

Source

Recently, the incompetence of certain individuals got the better of me. No, I didn't lash out at them but I got really really really mad... fuming mad! I felt like wringing their necks and knocking their heads and shout "HARLO??? Knock knock! Anybody home???".

But physically and outwardly, I just let out looonnngggg sighs. Yes, there were many many sighing sessions. Apart from that, I was pretty quiet at my desk for the better of these two weeks. I guess my close colleagues can see the drastic weather change because I'm usually the noisy nosy practical joker around here.

Looking at the situation, I am glad I didn't loose my cool and became a raging lunatic. Work is work but I believe there is an unwritten code of human decorum in managing anger situations. You don't go about tongue lashing subordinates. You don't go about bad mouthing people to every listening ear. You may pour out your feelings to one or two trusted colleagues but that's it. Loosing your cool doesn't say that you are MAN or POWERFUL. It just says that you CAN'T CONTROL YOURSELF.

Yup. I think that's good advice to myself. Ain't blogging a great tool? Who needs a shrink? hehehe ;)

Buaya69 says... "Time to play with my Command & Conquer, muahahahar!"

Questionnaire for potential Ijok MIC candidates

2007-04-10T14:45:00.000+07:00

KUALA LUMPUR: Datuk Seri S. Samy Vellu has been receiving thousands of SMS messages in support of possible candidates for the Ijok state seat in Selangor.
However, the MIC president said he would not be influenced by them.
“Every day I have been getting these SMSes. They think they can influence me. It will not happen. I always make my own decision,” he said.
In fact, Samy Vellu said he had not even thought about the potential candidate yet as the nomination date for the by-election had not been fixed.

Yesterday, I read in The Star that our MIC dictator, oops, I meant defacto leader, was receiving too many suggestions on who shall be the next for MP Ijok. Let's face it. Barisan candidate means MP (MestiPelakon) also lar, in Malaysia Politikus talk.

Since I wanna make a difference to our political circus, I shall help our dear Semi-Value to reduce the number of potential candidates. Make it easier for him to decide lar.

So listen up all you potential candidates, please complete the following qualifying questionnaire and don't worry. We know that you don't really need brains before wagging the tongue in the entertaining People's Hall or to the press, so it's in multiple choice, heh!

Qualifying Questionnaire for Potential MestiPelakons

Q1: We are a multiracial FRONT. Are you Indian?
(a) Who cares? It should be on merit and not race based! Let me tell you something... bla bla bla
(b) Yes, but I can't speak tamil apart from curses, otha!
(c) errr, awak cakap melayu? Cakap omputih saya tak best
(d) oi macha! yen na dei???

Q2: We only want the BEST for the people. What is your OFFICIAL occupation?
(a) Accountant
(b) Owner of several backlane "Cuci & Vakum" kereta operations
(c) Owner of Kurmar's Curry House chain of restaurants
(d) Doctor

Q3: Are you loyal to our President?
(a) Hate him. You want my list of grouses?
(b) Yes.... for now. Wait till I challenge him at the next AGM, muahahahahar!
(c) Speak through my bank account
(d) His quotes are masterpieces. I teach them to my children.

Q4: How well do you know Ijok?
(a) It's located around Lat 3N Long 101E
(b) Pass through on my way to Tg Karang for seafood
(c) No comment
(d) I love the President!

Q5: How will you serve the people of Ijok?
(a) I shall listen and compile all their complaints into volumes, raise them to the authorities without fear or favour.
(b) I shall start a blog with an online forum
(c) I shall listen and compile all their complaints into volumes, and then die a natural death
(d) I shall develop the oil palm plantations, maybe build an airport for private helicopters. A toll road sounds good too.

Q6: Who is the present Prime Minister of Malaysia?
(a) Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad
(b) Khairy Jamaluddin
(c) Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi
(d) I love the President!

Q7: How will you promote Malaysia in your capacity as MestiPelakon?
(a) By becoming a responsible, action oriented and respectable community leader of all in Ijok.
(b) I will start a blog about my constituent work. Maybe YouTube if tak kena censor.
(c) I just smile, shake hands and keep my mouth shut.
(d) Who cares? The FRONT comes first. I shall heckle Uncle Lim, Teresa Kok, Fong Po Kuan non-stop and drown their voices out, muahahahahar!

Ok, just 7 questions. I was thinking of 10 abuden, who cares? hehehe.

How you score:
Ok, the scoring is pretty simple. Give yourself 1 point for each (a), 2 points for each (b), 3 points for each (c) and 4 points for each (d).

What your score says:

Below 7:
You are definitely not a born MestiPelakon due to your devil-may-care and tidak-apa attitude. However, we need your votes. Please find enclosed in the brown envelope some "incentive". ;)

7 to 14:
You definitely have what it takes to be in the OPPOSITION! Go talk to Uncle Lim or start a blog. But do remember to host your blog in Malaysia and register with KTAK. The gahmen will contact you in due course for an all expenses paid study tour of Kamunting, Perak.

15 to 21:
You have potential, my young padawan. Learn well the Art of Subterfuge and never ever be afraid of female bloggers (who are unemployed) and male bloggers (who are liars and cheaters). To start off your political career, you can help the President by being a banner waver and slogan shouter. Once in a while, raise your voices and heckle the OPPOSITION. It's FUN, I tell you :P

22 to 28:
Where have you been? Come join the party and the President's camp. Liaison and name dropping does have it's privileges, muahahahar! Here's an AP for you. Go upgrade your Proton into a Mercedes next week.

30 and above:
You already have superduper MestiPelakon quality because you are a blatant liar! The party already has lotsa people like you but you should consider NATIONAL SERVICE. Please send in your resume and cv to the FRONT's Head Office for them to assess how good a liar you are. Does a life in the mass media appeal to you?

Buaya69 says... "I'm soooo deadddd! You know when I am not working at my desk, heh!"

I Tumpang, can ah?

2007-04-10T09:39:00.000+07:00

ThatJames of LoopyMeals emailed me yesterday on Tumpang.com. Thanks for the heads up bro. What better way to plug a new concept which is "FIRST IN MALAYSIA" (iianm) than posting their press release here, hehehe (ok ok, call me a lazy pIg, snort!)

Spiderman 3 comes to Tumpang.Com

PETALING JAYA, 6th April 2007. Tumpang.Com is the latest idea in e-shopping. Being the very first of its kind in Malaysia, Tumpang.Com is an online bulk discount store that facilitates better discounts through bulk buying.

On Thursday, 12^th April 2007, the company will launch Movies At Tumpang which will be an ongoing Tumpang event to bring users blockbuster movies at special subsidized prices. According to founder, Jefrey Ong, “We’re selling low-priced tickets to give our users the real Tumpang experience, that this is the site for bargains, deals and best buys.”

Premiering on Movies At Tumpang will be the much-anticipated Spiderman 3. This will be a special preview happening at 9:30pm on Thursday, 3^rd May 2007 at Cathay Cineplex, Cineleisure Damansara. “Tumpang users will be amongst the first people in Malaysia to watch Spiderman 3,” said Raymond Chuah, Tumpang’s marketing man.

There will be a total of 328 tickets on sale, and they range from RM 4 to RM 8 per ticket. Tickets will be on sale in four stages from 12^th to 25^th April 2007 Users can log on to http://movies.tumpang.com on these dates to purchase tickets.

This event will be publicized exclusively via blogs. “Bloggers and their readers comprise of a generation of net-savvy folks who form a big part of our demographics,” said Ong, “and this event could very well be a big blogger gathering.”

The Tumpang team will be collaborating with other trade partners for upcoming event to give its users more value for money. These could include goodie bags and special offers for Movies At Tumpang supporters.

Tumpang.Com went live on Sunday, 1^st April 2007 and was officially launched the following day.

For further information, please contact:

Tel: +603 7728 6230
Fax: +603 7729 0893

Mr. Jefrey Ong - Founder
jefrey@tumpang.com

Mr. Raymond Chuah – Marketing & PR
raymond@tumpang.com

For updates, please visit: http://blog.tumpang.com

If you wish to receive notification on sale times for Movies At Tumpang, please email your mobile number to newsletter@tumpang.com.

I hopped over to Tumpang.com a few minutes ago. Quite a nice feel, easy to navigate, they even have a Toints system for the top ranking Tumpangers , hahaha! Was browsing through their categories of goods when suddenly "Problem loading page", aiyak! The site must be going through some admin work.

Anyway, I have a suggestion for Jeffrey and his Tumpang gang. Start a bulk buy on Canon 400D DSLR or Nikon D40 DSLR. I gerenti tumpang one, heh!

Buaya69 says... "mari mari! Jom pi tumpang diskaun!"

6 weird things about Buaya69

2007-04-09T16:05:00.000+07:00

Got tagged by L of Needlessly Complicated, Really!

Now I have to divulge 6 weird things about myself. Actually, since I'm such a weirdo, I think I can write more than that but why go against the requirement, right? So 6 it is ;)

Weird #1: The true purpose of an underwear...
is for me to tuck-in my dress shirt so that they don't go "loose". A habit from my my ROTU days, honest! My 2nd Warrant Officer was the one who trained (i.e. insisted/grilled/pounded) that we do that to ensure that we looked smart when marching up and down the sacred parade ground. Since muah is a creature of habit (read: brainwashed!), I am still tucking in my dress shirt into my underpants/boxers.... despite the big tummy now, heh!

Weird #2: I have a 10 year policy on...
car ownership when people around me change theirs latest by 5 years. Owning cars in this country is bloody expensive compared to our purchasing power. And don't get me started on the HP "daylight robbery" way of calculating interest. It's... it's... so un-Accountant, heh! That's why I am still driving my 1997 Wira 1.5. My first car was our family's 1982 Datsun 120Y which was finally traded in in 2003 - that's 21 years. Good ol'Datsun easy maintenance. You can trash it ala Jeremy Clarkson but it will still run. ;)

Weird #3: I love polishing my....
black shoes. They must be spit shining. No instant liquid polish for mah shoes please. Only good ol'shoe wax, preferably with some oil. And don't you dare step on mah shoes! God forgive me for becoming a raging buffalo if I should find the polished surface of my shoe "chipped/dented". That would take me at least 3 layers of polish to cover the chipped area. Yup, I am particular about my shoes. No wonder my little SueAnne has shoe fetish, heh!

On a similar note, I love to iron my shirts and trousers.... weird huh? ;)

Weird #3: I have a tendency to observe....
people from wherever I am. I tend to "scan" people (especially hotbabes!) with my buaya eyes using the "look without looking" kungfu stance. I could be walking along the street or in a shopping mall, eating/drinking in a restaurant/bar... wherever, whatever, but my buaya eyes will always scan the area, muahahahar!

On a sober note, it was a skill passed unto me from one of my managers. Both of us were part of the "Men-with-Green Pens". The firm frequently assigned us to exotic but 'tourists-go-home" countries for some tough reporting. Incidentally, this manager was a Captain with the Military Intelligence before he quit to join the commercial world. We had to constantly look-out for our each other and you could say this buaya learnt and applied well, muahahahahar!

Weird #4: I have a fetish for...
buaya's! Don't ask me why; I am still trying to figure it out myself. I have a 12" Toys-R-Us rubber buaya sitting on my office PC, a 3 footer plush buaya soft-huggable toy in my car (to separate the 2 girls from fighting, hahaha!), and a hand twisted wired buaya that I bought more than 20 years ago in Petaling Street from a wheel-chaired bound artisan. Please don't get me started on 69.... :P

Weird #5: I love to buy....
books book books. OK, not really weird but it is when you have a room full of books but couldn't find the time to finish reading what you bought. I admit that I am a "scan reader". No longer do I go through the beauty of the written prose (except if it was poetry or poems) but really, that's not a requirement with the present day "easy-to-read" and "point-by-point" presentation of the latest "how to" books. Now that my home library/study room is stacked full of books, I have made a conscious effort not to buy anymore from MPH Mid-Valley or 1 Utama. But there's an interesting book on digital photography which I have been eyeing recently..... ;)

Weird #6: And finally, I read...
car number plates when I am driving. OK, that's not weird but when you start deciphering and laughing at plates such as CBK 5733.... now that's weird. Shan't tell you how I read them but enough to say that they are not safe for kids... really vulgar mya translation. My wife knows that and she says "Don't open your mouth! The kids can understand what we speak already, ok?". So L, we have something in common here ;)

Buaya69 says... "Yup, muah is a BAD 455" :P

My dream car number

2007-03-15T13:31:00.000+07:00

I'm back! I'm back! Just came back to work yesterday.

Sorry for the long silence. If you had read my family blog, you would know that I was under "house arrest" due to chicken pox. Of all times, I got it during the CNY holidays! Suffer man, especially from Blackjack withdrawal symptoms, heh!

Ah, by now you would have guessed, yes, I am one of those super ulu urban folks who do not have a broadband line at home, not even dial-up!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Today, I went out for lunch with my office mates. On the way back, we saw a car plate CY 1. I told them that I once saw a JED 1 at my taman, hence started our special car number plate conversation.

B69: Hey Jess (girl). You are getting your new car soon, right?

Jess: Yes, next week.

B69: So, what number plate are you going to get?

Jess: I don't know yet. Any number will do lar. It's just a number, right?

Capt (one damn handsome bloke): Right and wrong. You wouldn't want to drive home with 5354, hahaha! (cantonese = not dead, not alive)

Jess: Aiyah, but I dunno what number to get lar.

B69: OK OK, let me help you. How about 1169? (Canto = everyday fark)

Jess: 1169... sounds nice. (Capt trying to control laughter...)

B69: If that's taken, you can try 6789 or with a twist, 9678 (Capt, trying much harder...) - (canto = "private part sure prosperous" and "play private part and prosper"!)

Jess: 6789.. hmm, not bad too.

Honey: Err, Jess. This is Buaya we are talking about. Must be funny numbers one, careful ok!

Jess: Eh, ya lar. This is Buaya! Oi! What does those numbers mean ar? Cepat, cakap!

B69: Where got? All nice numbers what. You can also try 9674. Sure dapat one! (Canto = play private part and die!)

Capt: Bwahahahahahahaha!

Jess & Honey: *pinch pinch Buaya* Oi! Talk!

B69: ouch ouch ouch!

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But if you ask me, there's one special number I would like to get, if I have the extra moolah to spend on such frivolous things lar. It is a Selangor plate and it's

BAD 455

Buaya69 says... "I'm bad, I'm bad, you know it!"

Valentine's Day Tip#1

2007-02-07T12:30:00.000+07:00

I used to dread Valentine's Day. It is such a commercially driven shitty day. Your emotions go haywire whether you are single or in a relationship.

When you are single and available, you mull and mope all over your bedroom in your self depreciating "Why why why! Nobody loves me, sob sob sob" mode. And then you will naturally think about that lost love(s), what could have been and then you kill yourself ever so slowly and painfully by listening to Rick Price's "Heaven Knows". Yes, that's definitely a cruel way of killing yourself ;)

But Valentine's Day is not for the faint hearted. As they say, there are no prizes for those who come in second. For guys still in the hunting game, there's no way out. You must SPEND SPEND SPEND.

Buaya VDay tip # 1: FLOWERS

Source: Blooming.com.my

Buying flowers during VDay at ridiculously stratospheric prices is insane. For example, the above bouquet will set you back RM198.00!!!

Your logical thinking girl will remind you how "awww, you shouldn't have" and say things like "but flowers die within a few days" or "that money can buy better stuff" and so forth. Still, a Buaya will spend that moolah and get those flowers delivered. Why?

Coz you need to mark your territory!

Flowers are a good way to mark out your "territory" to other Buayas. You are telling them in no uncertain terms that "This is MINE! Stay OUT!". You are just like an El Conquistador planting your Spanish flag on foreign soil, only that a Buaya is doing it with flowers, hehehe.

Not only that, you can intimidate other Buayas when you can afford (or stupid enough) to buy a huge huge huge bouquet of flowers. It's almost like thumbing the nose to the other Buayas and saying "My dick is longer and bigger than yours!", heh!

Apart from that, your girl thinks that you have the hots for her, care, love and yada yada yada. (Actually, you will boost HER EGO to her lady friends, but I will save that for another post).

And if you really really have the balls to kacau another Buaya's girl or just want to get a certain girl's attention, flowers do make a HUGE statement. But never do that "Anonymous Sender" thingy. Girls hate that.

So, as a VDay Buaya weapon, flowers are great as an offensive and defensive tactic. Use with care though ;)

To be continued with Tip #2: Money not required.

Buaya69 says... "I hope yous Buayas have planned for VDay, good luck!"

To prosecute Ah Long's victims is missing the bigger picture

2007-01-30T10:07:00.000+07:00

I read from The Star today that "Cops want to prosecute Ah Long's victims".

I seriously think they are missing the bigger picture and that is the availability of MICRO CREDIT. Of course, risks of non-performing loans needs to be mitigated but the overriding objective should not be profits but community obligation.

This is definitely NOT a private sector led venture as they generally don't have an appetite for such high risks/low returns social obligation. Our ELECTED government should lead and expand on this effort.

Having said that, I would like to read from the MAINSTREAM papers what the Government led hardcore poverty alleviation programs have achieved.

I am sure tax payers would appreciate that better than the purchase of a VVIP jet.

Buaya69 says... "OMG! Why am I so angst these days? damn..."

Buns to die for!

2007-01-30T07:00:00.000+07:00

What do you do when the interior of your car smells? Put in an Ambipure? Spray with deodoriser? Or you can do what I did.

Go to KLCC, buy at least 10 Rotiboys, put them in your car, drive around for a while, and then go back to office/home and distribute out the rotiboys. OK, they cost RM1.50 each but you get a nice smelling car, delicious actually, and your colleagues/family will love you to bits.

Worth every ringgit, I tell you, especially when the office SYTs go, "Oh Rotiboys... For me? Why, tenkiuuuuu!"

Buaya69 says... "Two hot buns for your hot buns " *cough cough*

Iran's Government requiring bloggers to register their sites

2007-01-22T18:59:00.000+07:00

Whoa! This is really news!

The Iranian government is requiring its citizen bloggers to register their sites with the authorities. And the funny thing is, only those who blog using their OWN NAMES have to register. Huh?

Hehe, if this is applied here, then the likes of Jeff Ooi, Dr Liew, A. Kadir Jasin, Paul Tan, Kenny Sia, Ahirudin of Rocky's Bru and etc, must register with, ermm... say Ministry of Energy, Water and Communications?

Excerpts from BBC News:

OMID MERMARIAN, BERKELEY, CALIFORNIA

Omid Mermarian was tortured in an Iranian jail before moving to the US

The bloggers who write about politics or culture from a critical standpoint are people who are already known to everybody, and they abide by the law.
There are others who are either unknown or who write under aliases, and there's a third group who write from outside Iran.
This law only addresses the first group: the people whose names and addresses are known.
It is highly likely that if it is enforced, more and more bloggers will go underground.
This legislation would mean that every blogger who is an intellectual, a journalist, a social activist, or who writes under his own name would have to blog in line with government taste.
This would threaten the very existence of many social, political and cultural blogs. Even those that write about women.
Many influential weblogs are already being censored by the government.
This law would result in many websites and blogs being closed down. Or at the very least, they would become increasingly conservative.

Quite a lot were said by the other Iranian bloggers interviewed. Go click on the header link to BBC News.

Well, we can laugh and yet feel sad for the Iranian brother bloggers (about their Government, cause there're so many loopholes to get around it, hehehe) but then we should really hope that civil servants/politicians in Putrajaya don't look at Iran and say, "Hey! That's a good idea! Let's make this a new law!". Now, that would be another day for....

Buaya69 says... "Bloggers United!"

Rocky & Jeff Ooi, we are with you!

2007-01-18T13:44:00.000+07:00

Thanks to Sheih aka Kickdefella for the poster. Rightly said bruder. Read Nurina A. Samad as she was there when Rocky was given "notice". Jeff Ooi also kena Nasty Pee's papers.

What can I/we do?

Blog the blardy story! Spread it far and wide. It's public news anyway.
I have money to contribute to the war/defence chest. Jeff & Rocky, just give me the bank account numbers.
I continue not to buy NST papers. I'm a The Star and The Sun reader anyway, heh!

Now, does anyone still have that "Save Jeff Ooi" button the Malaysian blogosphere spread a few years ago?

What do I feel about this event?

Not good at all. It feels like David vs Goliath. It feels like bullying ala Singapore "See-you-in-Court" style. It feels like Politics and Money Power is Right. It feels like "OMG! Kill all the bloggers! They are scums of the public mind!"

Heck, the undertone is that it feels like UMNO wants to gag us all. Why? Because NSTP's major shareholder is Media Prima Bhd and the latter itself is substantially owned by MRCB, a company generally attributed to be UMNO-linked and we all know who the incumbent UMNO President is. Yes, it's unfair to link it all the way but that's how perception is. So, am I defaming anyone here?

But one thing really positive coming out of this is....

Buaya69 says... "A nation of people without righteousness has no soul."

Johor floods 2 - Quiet resentment

2007-01-13T11:53:00.000+07:00

Source: http://gallery.thestar.com.my

Mother nature was and is still tough on us in Johor. I don't think many in KL can fully understand and emphatise with the emotional and financial grief of our Johor brothers. Having been a frequent victim of flash floods myself back in my Klang days, none of those experiences prepared me for the photos and reports that I received these few days. (I am in the midst of compiling our operational losses in Johor).

But I do have a good idea of how bad it is. It was in 1991 and Kluang was flooded. We were doing compass marching and it never stopped raining since Day 1 at 0600H. We thought that the rain will pass but when it became a torrential downpour at 1500H, we knew that it was going to be a long long march. By then, most of us had already taken off our poncho because we were already soaked to our skin. Streams became rivers and very fast flowing - crossing them would be suicide even without the pack and M16. Drains were unseen, rats swimming in the water and we made so many detours that the prospect of being lost was high. To cut it short, we only came out from the jungle 48 hours later from what was supposed to be an 8 hour exercise. Most syndicates only came out after 72 hours. Thank God none from the Company were hurt.

Back to the Johor floods, quiet resentment is on the rise. I can't say about the Johoreans because I am not there, but I am talking about resentment from KLites with families or friends suffering in Johor. Some commoner coffeetalk as follows:

PM minum teh tarik nasi kandar kat Perth. Kami boleh hantar ni natural teh tarik cap banjir Johor!
Mungkin banjir ni tak cukup disaster kot. Takde tsunami. Takde CNN.
Tasik Titiwangsa lebih penting daripada venice Johor, enuff said.

Looks like our PM and Gahmen can do no right in the eyes of some commoners. One coffeetalk that ringed in my ears:

Aiyah, you ni jangan terikut-ikut itu movie Deep Impact. In reality, the people are only important during general elections!

Ouch.

In closing, I read this from the NST online today, “If the Government does not help its people, who will? If we have to spend more, we just have to,” he said. True and rightly said but a voice told me that in some instances, it is not the money. It's the presence. It's the human spirit. Leaders and aides need to learn from Winston Churchill and I don't mean chomping on a smoking Churchill.

Source

Buaya69 says... "Donate to the Johor flood victims. Have a heart."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
NSTP Flood Victims Assistance Fund

The New Straits Times Press (M) Bhd has set up a fund to help flood victims.

Donations via cheque, bank draft or postal order made out to The New Straits Times Press (M) Bhd can be sent to: The New Straits Times Press (M) Bhd, c/o Finance Department, 5th Floor, Balai Berita, 31, Jalan Riong, 59100 Kuala Lumpur (Attention: Aidah Nordin).

Kindly write on the back of the cheque donor’s name, address and contact number.

Donations to the fund can also be made at NSTP branches in Johor Baru, Klang, Alor Star, Batu Pahat, Ipoh, Kota Baru, Kota Kinabalu, Kuala Terengganu, Kuantan, Kuching, Malacca, Muar, Penang and Seremban, or its regional printing plants in Shah Alam, Prai, Senai and Ajil.

All donations collected will be channelled to the National Disaster Relief Fund. Donations are tax exempt.

Cleavage leverage

2006-12-26T16:30:00.000+07:00

Conversation while walking to lunch venue:

Buaya69: Wooo, today you are dressed, how would I say, yummily... slurrp! (act wiping fictitious drool from mouth)

Amy (fellow manager): Well, after lunch, I have a one-to-one meeting with Mussollini (raises eyebrows).

Buaya69: Izzit? My condolences. Make sure you eat loads of garlic during lunch.

Amy: Garlic will only seal my fate as his enemy for life. I may need him later.

Buaya69: Woo, hence the Gong Li valley? Hmm, how come you don't give me such special treatment? I am so huuurrrttt! *pretend jealous*

Amy: Eh, don't cuba merajuk lar. Mussolini has what I need. Whereas you... mmm, (sizing me up and down)... I will think about it! hehehe

Buaya69: Ack! Choke choke! I have a cheeky manageress on my hands. Wait-ler you. Appraisal time is just around the corner, muahahahar! *clasp hands like evil boss*

Amy: Ah, by then you better give me a good appraisal. If I get my ways with Mussolini, we are home free. I want that promotion, that bonus, that platinum card, and that club membership. You think I show cleavage for free ar? *giggle giggle*

Buaya69: Woi, you think I am da pimp or what? I didn't even ask you to see that Mussolini. What does he have that's of any good to us? I am telling you, you are wasting those jiggly things on him. And since when are we into cleavage politics? We are professionals lar. *Act like very ethical fella, if there's such a thing!*

Amy: Since the day I learnt that from my ex-lady boss at XYZ Bank. She was the Head of Credit Collections. Sex does sell, you didn't know that meh? Especially when dealing with difficult customers, not always though, but can be used effectively *giggle giggle*

Buaya69: Of course I do. I'm a buaya after all *cough cough*. (Flashbacks about how I got conned into certain credit cards...)

Amy: That's why my ex-department had very good statistics, results wise and also *ahem* body wise.

Buaya69: Hmm, in order to see more valleys, must I tell the other guys to be difficult to you? I think that can be arranged, muahahahahar!

Amy: And destroy this department's secret weapon? Me? You better think twice.

Buaya69: Bwahahahaha! Girl, you are evil!

Amy: When you have the boobs, you learn very quickly how to handle pricks. And buaya boss's like you. *giggle giggle*

Buaya69: -_-"""

Buaya69 says... "You don't learn these in Harvard..."

Memories - That Buaya bicycle

2006-12-01T22:29:00.000+07:00

I looked at my mountain bike standing forlornly in the drive way, with dust and cobwebs all over and two very very very flat tyres. I bought the bike in 2001 and have not ridden it for one and a half years already. Try as I might, I just couldn't get myself to love this bike. And it was my dream to own a mountain bike! What's happening?

As I stood there, thinking whether to pump up the tyres, I suddenly had a realisation, a moment of "Aha! That's it!", and spotlights lit above my head (tink!). The answer to my perplexed feelings could be due to my ol'raleigh bike that I had during my school days.

I loved that bike. You know, that bike that Lat draws in his cartoons.

Source

My dad bought me that bike, brand new I tell you, from a bicycle shop near our home. It was a for a princely sum of RM280, way back in 1983. I really appreciated my dad for that because it sure was a lot of money for a retiree.

That bike brought me a lot of joy. Sure, it was not as fast as the racer bikes and looked old fashion. Shimano was the rage then. If you rode a Shimano to school, most boys would ogle at it like it's an exotic prancing horse car.

Adding to the old fashioness of that bike, I even had a basket installed upfront and a carrier at the back. And that was a definite no no for coolness. Abuden, I had my reasons.

That front basket carried my school bag and the flat carrier at the back became a second seat to carry, what else, SYTs! It was the quintessential schoolboy buaya-wannabe ride. Man, that was where I learnt and horned my "Shall I give you want a lift home?"

Muahahahahar!

Buaya69 says... "And the SYTs sat sideways, holding my waist for balance. Almost first touch, heh!"

Directing SYT at KLCC

2006-11-30T18:10:00.000+07:00

Standing at the centre court in KLCC, admiring the yet to be lighted gigantic christmas tree, I was suddenly approached by a SYT. She had a light blue spaghetti blouse and tight blue jeans. Her solenoids were, for a lack of a word, well formed. Long flowing black hair, double eyelids, blue eyes (must be coloured contact lenses), 5' 5".... in Buaya terms, delectable, until....

SYT: haarlo, xsuse me. Yous tell me where I find po off is?

Me: err.. (deciphering).. oh, the post office?

SYT: Yah yah! Po off is.

Me: Well, we are now at the centre court. You see those escalators?

SYT: Oh, the lifts? Yah!

Me: (cringing) Err, yes. Go pass them and you will see Tower Records. Then take a left turn (hand signal left turning), walk straight to the end about 20 meters, and you will see the post office to your right.

SYT: huh? Go up lift, then turn left... err, is it very far?

Me: No no, not up the escalators. Walk pass them and.... you know, why don't I take you there?

SYT: Oh no no, is ok. (smiles sweetly) Tell me how again?

And this time I spoke in good ol'KL cantonese dialect. SYT thanked me and walked off in the right direction. I watched as she walked away. Nice ass. Wished I hadn't spoken in cantonese. Sometimes being able to communicate can be a loss, you know what I mean?

Buaya69 says... "Verily verily I tell you. What a bloody waste, damn..."

Emotionless radio ads

2006-11-14T14:18:00.000+07:00

I was driving along the highway, tuned in to an English radio channel when this radio ad came up. It went something like this:

Mom: Oh, a mosquito. Daniel, please take the XYZ (brand of an insecticide) and spray at the mosquito. You never know, it might be a dangerous Aedes mosquito that spreads denggi.

Friend: Oh, you use XYZ too?

Mom: Yes, it is water-based and etc etc etc.

True, I have not gotten the exact words of this water-based insecticide's radio ad but that isn't the point of this "observation" post. If you have heard the radio ad before, I think most would agree with me that it was so DEAD! So lifeless, so UNREAL. Normal Malaysians don't talk like that ler.

If I were to do a radio ad, I probably will propose to do it the Malaysian-way. Let's start with Chinese-English:

Father: Dius! Got moskito! KNN! Kia-ah (son in Hokkien), go get that XYZ and spray this CCB-mya moskito! KNN! Read newspaper oso want to disturb. Dunno who is Uncle Lee, krak-ptui!

No good? How about the Buaya69's version for Malay radio ad?

Ayah: Ish! Kepara hotak engkau! Nyamuk! Mon! Pi ambik tu XYZ spray. Cilaka mya nyamuk! Pi mampui!

Sorry, no Tamil/Hindi radio ad version. Buaya69 only knows the very very bad tamil words, heh!

Red bra

2006-11-10T18:37:00.000+07:00

They say red is the colour of danger. Others say it represents life and vitality. Some say it's definitely for hot passion, hence blood red bra and panties.

Ask any hot blooded male and they will likely say out their preference for peeling off those reddies, piece by piece..... with their teeth.

But there's definitely a time and place for wearing those reddies, and one of them is definitely NOT at Ikea, walking hand in hand with your boyfriend, with only a thin white blouse over them.

A great red bra should only peek out of the blouse and titillate the audience that it seeks but for this young lady, it was for ALL to see. Tsk tsk tsk. No wonder her boyfriend had his arm over her shoulder, kononnya nak protect protect but must be itchy fingers, heh!

But having said that, she shouldn't have worn that red bra at Ikea or anywhere for that matter. Why? Because she just made us focused on those solenoids and forced us to perform an evil Buaya scan. Result? A cup aje....

Yes, I am bad.

Yous speaking bad BeeAm? Cialat!

2006-11-03T19:54:00.000+07:00

Read the whole article here, and some of the comments rocks!

Talk about Malaysia hitting the news in a foreign land, but for these type of cerita? Aiyoyo! But frankly, the BM that I learnt so many years ago from my dedicated BM teachers have definitely gone through a few evolutionary cycles.

And is that bad? Well, let's take a test and see whether anyone out there can recognise or understand any of these BM words:

Merobotkan
Monolit
Sebermula
Voli
Hatrik
Siberfobia
Krevas
Bek
Haf tengah
Sosialit
Travelog
Senandika
Libero
Khamsin
Oda
Persona

And my definite favourite is "Menyahkafeinakan".

What? You have not heard of most of them? Me? Created them out of the haze? Kepara hotak engkau, heh! Actually, I took them off here, the custodian of Bahasa Malaysia, honest!

Buaya69 says... "gua tarak tipu lu mya, sumpah potong ayam!"

BMW vs Audi vs Subaru vs Bentley ads

2006-11-03T19:00:00.000+07:00

These car ads have been circulating in the internet for some time now. And our very own Paultan.org did put up the BMW vs Audi ad-punch.

But recently one of my past girlfriend's *cough cough* sent me the other two ad-punches from Subaru and Bentley. Very funny indeed. Have a good weekend ;)

BMW congratulating Audi...

Audi congratulating BMW....

Subaru congratulating Audi and BMW....

and the Bentley response, heh!

Buaya69 says..."Woo, talk about creativity... ouch!"

No balls

2006-11-03T10:01:00.000+07:00

"Story 1:
Sources said Dr Khir was expected to advise Mazlynoor to voluntarily relinquish his councillor’s post, which was also what he had said to Kapar Umno division chief Faizal Abdullah. Link"

"Story 2:
Hours earlier, Abdullah, who is also Umno president, had said Zakaria should pull out from the swearing-in ceremony for councillors on Nov 8. As for Zakaria’s post as Klang Umno division chief, he said no decision had been made.
“He has been a good leader to his division,” Abdullah said after chairing the supreme council meeting yesterday.
Asked why Umno allowed Zakaria to continue holding his division chief post despite the embarassment he has caused, Abdullah said the wrongdoing was not a party matter. Link"

I hope that UMNO and the Government (Yes, the whole Barisan Nasional) realises that the Joe Public/RAKYAT (all races) perception from the above statements and timing of the follow-up actions is - YOU HAVE NO BALLS! Advise aje ke? Fuwah!

And then we have the regulators preaching to us about CORPORATE SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY (see Wikipedia). It is about time we, the Joe Public/RAKYAT shout out in a clear, loud and united voice to the Executive and Parliament that we are always right to demand for PUBLIC ACCOUNTABILITY because we gave you the Parliamentary Vote of Confidence. Denying us this public accountability is akin to BETRAYAL to the RAKYAT.

Buaya69 asks... "Is it so hard to provide public accountability to us RAKYAT? Sigh..."

Interview 101 - Research the Job

2006-10-17T22:40:00.000+07:00

I had a terrible, terrible, terrible time today, hence I'm still in office now! Arrrghhh!

I interviewed a few fresh graduates this afternoon and am very sad to report that none of them passed my muster. This time, I took another manager into the interview room - just to make sure that it isn't me that's the problem, hah! Fortunately for me (or unfortunately, depends on how you see it), my manager friend concurred with my overall findings - that this batch of fresh grads that I just interviewed were pathetic, so much so that we could pull out all our hairs and become instant monks! Damn sad I tell you.

I am not sure how much this blog can be of help but over time, I am going to blog some pointers on resume and attending interviews. Gosh, these things are so basic and yet so many fresh graduates just fail them. *cry*

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Before that, let's outline why interviews are important. Prospective employers use interviews to gauge whether a candidate is suitable for the job at hand i.e. has the necessary knowledge, skills, ability and willingness to contribute to the organisation and most of all, is a good fit into the existing team.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Okay, we have dispensed with that. So, if you are the candidate, can you guess what questions that we would be asking to gauge your suitability? Honestly, you won't be able to really really answer that without some crucial homework/research on the organisation and job. Candidates should obtain and generally be familiar at least with the following examples:

History of the organisation, especially if it is listed or part of a large group. You can easily find such information from the internet. For goodness sake, google!
Size of the organisation, number of employees, operation locations
General information about the industry the organisation is in, its products and services, its core market, is it in a niche section of the industry
Who are the significant competitors in the industry, hence make a general assessment of where the organisation is positioned in the industry
Understand the skills required for the job vacancy, how do you stack up and if lacking, how can you improve yourself e.g. written reports in English, powerpoint presentations, data analysis on excel, SQL

Let me illustrate why the above are important.

Q: So tell me, what do you know about our company?
A: Err, err, that it is a bank in Malaysia?

Q: That's all? Can we hear more?
A: Err... *cold sweat, thinking on the go*... It has many branches nationwide?

Q: *pengsan*

The above conversation definitely didn't put the candidate in a good light, or under any light at all! I think a dark cloud just came over him. Now, compared the above with this:

Q: So tell me, what do you know about our company?
A: It is one of the top remaining local banks in Malaysia after the banking and finance company mergers in the late 1990s. It has many branches nationwide to service depositors and provide financial services. The bank is part of a larger local conglomerate that has businesses in many industries, both local and overseas.

OK, that's just plain ripping off the general information contain in our websites, but see how confident she was in rattling it during an interview? She's done her homework alright and her confidence shows. In an interview, the last thing you want is an interviewer dismissing you immediately and then not giving you the chance to shine or show your true self worth.

In short, increase your confidence by doing a little bit of research. You can't go wrong. Easy right? But so many didn't do it! Arrrgghhhh!

The Kinokuniya Fart

2006-10-14T12:21:00.000+07:00

I have been quite stressed out at the cubicle for the last few months. Psychologists say that a right amount of stress is good for productivity. I say no stress is the best!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Today being a Friday and since I wore my devil-may-care facemask, I took a longer lunch hour and went to KLCC. Had lunch at Madam Kwan’s and then hop into Kinokuniya bookstore. As I was browsing through the music section, my tummy began churning. Oh no! Don’t tell me I am gonna shit in KLCC. Fortunately, the churning stopped pretty soon.

So there I was, like a small boy, browsing through the music books when I saw an interesting title at the lowest rack. I then initiated the “famous police squat” stance and began reading the book.

BIG MISTAKE!

Maybe it was the squat. Suddenly my tummy began to churn like mad. I could feel something pop’d in my tummy and then it moved all along my intestines. Within 3 minutes, I let out a loooonnng and silent fart. My own fart drifted up to my nostrils and OMG! It was the most horrible fart that I have ever whiffed! It was like the smell of rotten eggs and cheese and putrid milk all combined

That smell jolted me and I was damn shy. I slowly raised up my head and looked around. My Lord! Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE near me, were continuing their reading and browsing through as though they have not smelled that OMG SUPER BAD FART.

Yup, I was saved from embarassment by polite Malaysians. But maybe, just maybe, everyone was pretending not to notice so that they would not be fingered as the culprit?

Thank goodness for silent farts aka the Kinokuniya Fart. Maybe I should try that in an elevator…

Starting anew

2006-10-13T12:10:00.000+07:00

Yeah, I did it again. I killed another blog of mine. Why you asked? Because I was feeling evil, muahahahahar!